


Stronger Than the Powers So Dark

by AricaZorel



Series: The Griffin and the Mabari [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alienages (Dragon Age), Amaranthine (Dragon Age), Apologies, City Elves, Denerim (Dragon Age), Established Relationship, F/M, Ferelden (Dragon Age), Grey Wardens, King Alistair and Queen Cousland, Leliana (Dragon Age) Knows All, Love, Marriage, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Original Character(s), Political Alliances, Post-Dragon Age: Origins, Post-Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening, Reunions, Romance, Secrets, Self-Doubt, Sexual Content, Sweet Alistair (Dragon Age), Vigil's Keep (Dragon Age), Wedding Night
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:41:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22471222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AricaZorel/pseuds/AricaZorel
Summary: Elyssa and Alistair's journey continues beyond the end of the Blight and the Fereldan Civil War. Marriage, the throne, nobles, darkspawn, assassins, intrigue, friends and foes--old and new, Orlesians. What wasn't trying to make their lives difficult would only make them stronger.Alistair lifted a hand to her hair, pushing some behind her ear. “You know I love you. No matter what, I won’t forsake you.”She nodded. Anora’s words of knowing and realizing her own worth echoing in her head. “I know.”“And you know you inspire me every day by how you keep going despite everything,” he added with an adoring grin. “I really man a lucky man.”Elyssa made a contented sound as she wrapped her arms around his neck, happy to be in his strong, welcoming arms.“Morrigan would call me foolish,” Alistair said squeezing her to him.“Anora agrees,” she noted as he made a pouting sound. “But you’re my fool.”“Ah, I love it when you let me know exactly how you feel about me.”“I love you, Ali.”“I know, blossom. I’d be a bigger fool not to.”This is a series of loosely connected stories detailing their lives after the Blight before the events of DA:I.
Relationships: Alistair/Female Cousland (Dragon Age), Alistair/Female Warden (Dragon Age)
Series: The Griffin and the Mabari [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1567306
Kudos: 15





	1. Family First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the ceremony honoring those who ended the Blight and fought in the Civil War, Elyssa is reunited with Fergus while both she and Alistair realize being King and Queen will be just as treacherous as fighting Darkspawn.

_“And then it was over. With the archdemon dead, the darkspawn hoard quickly crumbled. Most fled back into the deep roads. They would remain a threat in the years to come, but the Blight had ended before it had truly begun. Ferelden had been saved, and the entire kingdom joyously rose up to greet its new king. The Grey Wardens stood redeemed, and a new age had begun. But at what cost?”_

*****

It had been just a matter of days. Literally days since the Battle of Denerim as it was being called, had occurred. Days since she and her friends had fought a hoard of darkspawn, she and Alistair had slayed an archdemon together, and the Blight ended. Days since she had learned her brother lived and was bound and determined to make it to Denerim to see his little sister be formally presented before the nobility as both the Hero of Ferelden and their future queen.

Elyssa Cousland stood in the great hall of the Denerim royal castle amidst a crowd made up of her friends, nobles, and a few she was still wary of. One noble had only just made it to the ceremony, standing off to the side with Teagan Guerrin and his family. As Alistair stood on the raised platform before them, she chanced a glance one more time at her brother. Fergus looked a little worse for wear but was very much alive and smiling. He winked at her and then motioned to the King.

King. Alistair was _king_. That still took some getting used to. Just as the thought she would be both his queen and his wife. As her future husband began to speak to the crowd, she took a breath, readying herself with what was to come. They had talked about it. Alistair going so far as to practice in front of her. He had done well but now was the true test of his public speaking ability. She prayed it went better than the Landsmeet…

“My friends, we are gathered to celebrate those responsible for our victory. Of those who stood against the darkspawn siege in Denerim, there is one in particular who deserves commendation. The one who led the final charge against the archdemon remains with us still, an aspiration to all she saved that day.”

Elyssa had begun ascending the steps half way through his speak, hoping she timed it right to arrive beside him just as he finished. Apparently practice had worked for them both. Alistair gave her a quick wink as he took her hand, turning them both to face the people. “Ladies and gentlemen, may I formally present my betrothed, who will soon be your queen. Lady Elyssa Cousland of Highever.”

A round of thunderous applause and whistling by a few filled the great hall. Despite everything she had been through, she still felt her cheeks turn red. She’d have to work on that if she were going to be queen. One of many things she was certain. Arl Eamon stood off to the side of the platform instead of with his family. Ever still trying to remain in the eyes of the court and an influence over Alistair. She decided to ignore him for now; he would be dealt with eventually…

“Have I said something to make you blush, love? Normally I have to be more…naughty with my words?” she heard Alistair ask, suddenly very close. She turned to find him leaning over to her with a mischievous grin.

“ _Alistair_ ,” she chided quietly.

All he did was waggle his eyebrows and turn back to the crowd. Raising a hand to silence the masses, he waited until they complied. Turning back to Elyssa, he began, “My dear, it is hard to imagine how you could have aided Ferelden more. You are truly an example to all of Ferelden’s people. You have overcome trial after trial only to end both a Civil War and a Blight. No words can truly express how grateful we are to you nor can we truly repay you for all that you have done. But in a vain attempt to start, I think it only appropriate that I return the favor. As a reward and an engagement present, I offer you a boon of your choice.”

She made a face at him hoping no one else would notice. They had talked about this and she thought they had decided on not pursuing this. Her becoming queen was enough of a supposed reward. Of course, Alistair being Alistair had decided differently. She had wanted him to be king on his own terms after all. Now she had to live with the consequences.

Schooling her features to be neutral, she watched as Alistair only smiled at her. She took a breath and then said, “My king, you honor me with such an offer. I only did what any true Ferelden would do. Our parents fought to free our people from foreign occupation. None of us could sit by and watch as one of our own caused such sufferings our people should not have endured with an impending Blight. I am lucky enough to be able to continue to serve our people as your queen. But if you _insist_ on a reward, let their be a monument to remember those lost during the past year in defense of our nation. We must not forget them lest we repeat the past with a heavier price.”

Alistair nodded, his expression showing he had hoped for her to say something else. What that was she had no idea. Maybe he would disclose it to her later. For now, she wanted to get the ceremony over with and visit her brother.

“As Lady Cousland says, so shall it be done. A monument to all those who gave their lives to protect their families and their nation. We shall never forget them. Let today be a day of remembrance of those who have passed on to the Maker’s side for now and ever more. May they watch over us as we rebuild what they gave their lives to defend.”

He stepped forward as he added something of his own. “Let it also be known that the arling of Amaranthine, once the land of Arl Howe, is now granted to the Grey Wardens. There they can rebuild, following the example of those that went before them.”

Elyssa knew she was smiling despite her anxiousness to see her brother. Alistair had hinted at doing something for the Wardens, giving them something besides the remote Soldier’s Peak Keep as a base of operations. She thought it fitting actually. Of course, there was the Howe children, but Delilah was married and living in Amaranthine now. Nathanial was off in the Free Marches. Thomas was dead and the youngest…That was another story unto itself. For the time being she would not think of it. Other more immediate matters demanded her attention.

Another round of thunderous applause sounded in the hall. Alistair must have practiced more after she had gone to sleep. She stood dutifully at his side but hoped he realized she would not remain ever quiet. Of course, he did not expect that. Certain members of the nobility would, especially Eamon but she would deal with that later. One battle at a time…

“Now everyone, please, celebrate our victory and remember all that had happened. But do not let it overshadow the great future Ferelden will have because we will make it happen, together, as one people.”

Elyssa looked over at Alistair as he motioned for everyone to mingle. There would be a feast later but now was a time for everyone to interact with the heroes. So, they could gain favor and make connections they hoped would be beneficial in their own futures. It was all part of the nobility’s game and politics. She’d play later. Right now, she was truly amazed at how quickly Alistair had taken to at least addressing the people of Ferelden.

He turned to her with a grin. “Yes. I practiced more.”

She laughed and rolled her eyes. “Practice makes perfect my king.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for later when we are finally _alone_ ,” he said in a low husky voice. He paused for a moment and then gestured towards the right side of the hall. “Care to introduce me to your brother who I should have asked for a blessing before I asked you to marry me?”

She glanced down at Fergus who lingered just beside Teagan Guerrin and Leonas Bryland. Nodding, she began descending the few steps to the main floor. She heard Alistair begin to follow but an older voice interjected, “Your Majesty, there are several nobles who wish to speak with you concerning the fate of Lady Anora. Since Loghain is no longer with us, Gwaren had no Teyrn. They are asking that you determine a new leader for the seaport. The amount of trade that flows through it demands a swift response.”

“A swift response that can wait until I have in writing their concerns and demands as I have already requested. I have also asked for Lady Anora to offer any personal suggestions she may have since she was the daughter of the former Teyrn,” Alistair replied as he continued down the steps.

“Alistair, this is most important. Trade is—”

“Not only confined to Gwaren,” the royal replied. “Now I am going to greet the new Teyrn of Highever and meet my soon to be brother-in-law. Excuse me, Arl Guerrin.”

Elyssa noted the purposeful use of his surname. Another attempt for Alistair to distance himself from the Arl of Redcliff. She heard the older man reply simply, “Yes, Your Majesty.”

His tone said he was anything but okay with the dismissal. Alistair took her arm and wrapped it around his as they reached the floor. He said nothing further about the Arl as Fergus excused himself from Teagan. Elyssa couldn’t hide the tears that threatened to fall. Alistair leaned over and spoke into her ear, “Go to him. He’s your family and let what the rest of the nobility think be damned.”

She looked to him, seeing the love in his eyes and encouraging smile on his lips. She squeezed his arm and then all but ran to her brother. The elder Cousland held his arms open as he waited for her to reach him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he laughed. Had it really been a year since she had last seen him?

“So, my little sister has been busy this last year,” Fergus teased as she hugged him harder. “Careful, Lyssie. I’m still recovering.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t find you. Ostagar was horrible and I couldn’t find you…I couldn’t save them. Please don’t hate me because I couldn’t save them. Father and Mother ordered me to leave with Duncan…I—Mother chose to stay behind…”

“Hush, now. Why would I blame you?” Fergus whispered. “You didn’t betray our family.”

“But I couldn’t get to Oriana and Oren in time…” she whimpered all the feelings of doubts, helplessness that had dogged her since that horrible night came flooding back.

Fergus pulled away from her a bit. “You, Elyssa Cousland, did everything you could and more. You ended a civil war, ended a blight. You are to be queen. You are the Hero of Ferelden. You are my sister and my family. You ended the bloody bastard who murdered our family. There is no blame between us. We can only move forward from here.”

“I…I am glad you here,” she said a little more calmly, finally remembering where they were.

“So am I, Lyssie,” Fergus agreed as his eyes shifted to something behind her. “And I see your betrothed is anxiously waiting to introduce himself.”

“ _Fergus_ ,” she said warily as Alistair finally approached them.

She ended her embrace with her brother only to wrap an arm around his waist. Exhaling, she made the introductions. “Fergus, this is Alistair Theirin, king of Ferelden. Alistair, this is Fergus Cousland, my elder brother.”

The men shook hands as they eyed one another. Fergus was the first to speak. “It seems not only did you manage to keep my sister alive during my absence, but you also ended a war and a blight all while deciding she was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Forgive my impudence, your majesty, but are you sane?”

Alistair’s expression became one of amusement. “I have at least one Arl who would say no. But I assure you, my desire to marry your sister is true. I love her with every fiber of my being and would very much like you blessing.”

“A little backward but you have it,” the elder Cousland said with a grin. “If you can stand by her for a year during what trials you have been through so far, how can I say no?”

Alistair let out a sigh of relief. “You have no idea how scared I was that you might run me through with a sword.”

Fergus chuckled. “If I did that _now_ , I’d be executed for assassinating the king. I think I’ll just settle for gifting you my little sister so she can annoy you for the rest of your life.”

“Ah, yes. Let’s just skip over that first bit,” Alistair said, his eyes darting around them. “I am probably going to have enough enemies soon. Best not to have my brother-in-law as one.”

“The Couslands have never been one to assassinate each other. We much rather annoy our family members,” Fergus said quietly. “That includes you now, Your Majesty.”

“Yes, your sister has been kind enough to induce me to this tradition of yours almost from the start,” the king replied with a grin. Standing at his full height, he said, “I would like nothing more than to talk with you more, but duty demands I make the rounds with nobles who only want favors and notoriety. I hope to see you later after the feast. I do sincerely want to know you better, Fergus.”

Cousland nodded. “Like wise, Your Majesty.”

Alistair leaned over and kissed Elyssa on her cheek. “I will see you later, love. Try not to get into any trouble.”

“I should be telling _you_ that,” she smirked as he shrugged.

“You take the fun out of everything,” he replied and then turned back to her with a mischievous grin. “Well, not everything, but that is just between you and me.”

As he walked off towards some of the Bann, Elyssa tried to suppress the blush that threatened to blossom. She turned back to Fergus who only wore a knowing grin. “ _What?”_ she asked in annoyance.

“Oh, nothing,” he said folding his arms across his chest. “Just knowing that my little sister is all grown up and knows about the birds and the bees now is…liberating.”

“Fergus, if you weren’t—If you didn’t just—” she stammered as she trailed off, a smile gracing her features.

“I missed you too, Lyssie,” he admitted.

She looked back at him. “I just want to know that I did all that I could…I couldn’t help the people closest to me and now I am to be queen. I have someone who has my heart…There is someone who would see me gone at the earliest opportunity. How can I—”

“You push forward with the stubborn streak you’ve relied on for so long. You get it from mother,” Fergus reminded her. “You are Bryce Cousland’s child, but you are also the daughter of Eleanor Mac Eanraig, the Seawolf. Never forget that.”

“You think they would approve of what—”

“Lyssie, they would be so proud of what you have been able to do and of the woman you have become,” he interjected. “I know I am.”

She took a breath. “Thank you.”

He nodded. “I know you want to talk more but you have an adoring public who wants to see you. We can talk later. I promise.”

“Fergus…”

“Go, Lyssie,” he urged with a mischievous glint in his brown eyes. “I have some nobles I would like to talk to myself. I need to know who is friendly to the Couslands and who isn’t.”

She couldn’t help the quick look she gave Eamon. Thankfully the Arl did not see it. Fergus caught it though. He lowered his voice as he kissed her cheek, “I will keep that in mind.”

She knew she gave him a relieved look. He smiled as he ushered her away. “It will be fine. Now go.”

Elyssa nodded as her brother walked over to Arl Bryland. She knew she could count on her brother. He was family and he was already counting Alistair as such. Her friends were family too, but she knew they would all be going their separate ways soon. Morrigan already had. They would all remain important to her. As she was beckoned over by an Arlessa, she promised herself family would always remain important to her either by blood or circumstance; family would always be the center of her life. Always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by the song “Family First” by Whitney Houston & Family


	2. Become What You've Always Known

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eamon makes his opinion concerning Elyssa as Queen fully known as Alistair realizes that being King isn't as cut and dry as he thought. Meanwhile Elyssa learns what the Grey Wardens want of her and how good intentions can still lead to unintended consequences.

“What do you mean Elyssa and I will have different bed chambers?” Alistair’s asked flabbergasted. It had been only two weeks since his official coronation and three weeks since the slaying of the archdemon and he was still being presented surprise after surprise.

A trio of royal etiquette advisers stood around the new King as Arl Eamon looked on sternly. The older advisor said, “It is the way of things, Your Majesty. The Royal Wing has always been arranged so.”

The Grey Warden’s eyes flickered to Eamon. Elyssa had been right. He thought she had merely been jesting. Apparently that was one thing she had not been joking about. The Arl’s expression only served to reinforce Alistair’s desire to be a different kind of king, to do it on his own terms.

“Well, it’s hard to have an heir when you don’t share a bed with your wife,” Alistair noted indignantly, not caring how he sounded. He concealed the smile threatening to appear as the Arl bristled.

“It is not the way of things, Alistair. You are king now. There are certain… _expectations_ now. Proprietary is one of them,” the older Ferelden admonished. His expression remained impassive though his tone clearly relayed his growing annoyance.

“An heir is expected as is a happy marriage for the king and queen,” Alistair said as he turned to look at the bundles of letters on the desk for him. Most were congratulations on his coronation, his pending marriage, and ending the Blight. He’d have to reply to them soon. Even to the ones who claimed felty to him but also asked for favors. Maybe Elyssa had a polite way of responding to the ladder that didn’t involve the use of vulgar words. “I don’t suppose you have advisers tell you how to handle the more _intimate_ parts of your life.”

Eamon shifted, clearly not liking the comment. “I am not solely responsible for the continuation of the royal bloodline. These traditions are followed to keep transitions from one monarch to the next fluid.”

“Well I can tell you one Theirin tradition I will _not_ be observing,” Alistair declared as he turned back to Eamon. “There will be no extramarital affairs. I am quite satisfied with my betrothed.”

“It might be necessary to consider alternate means if Lady Cousland cannot produce—"

“Why do we always assume it’s the woman’s fault? Couldn’t the man’s…parts be at fault as well?” Alistair countered. “The rumors blaming Anora aren’t flattering. But it could have been my half-brother. If we are believing rumors, Cailan had some mistresses but none came rushing forward with a bastard heir. No. That honor was reserved for _me_. Maric’s bastard heir. So here we are.”

“Alistair be reasonable.”

“Oh, I think I am being quite reasonable,” the Grey Warden stated as he whirled around from the desk to the Arl, not caring that the etiquette advisors were still present. “You want us to have separate chambers. Fine. Do it. But I assure you that only one bed will see use each tonight.”

Eamon clenched his jaw at Alistair stood his ground. The study became deathly silent as the two men stared each other down. After the long awkward pause, a middle-age woman spoke up. “If I made, Your Majesty?”

Alistair nodded. The blonde woman took a step forward. “While it _is_ tradition each have their own bed chambers, it is not unheard of for the king and queen to use only one most of the time. Separate chambers is simply tradition but the Vaels of Starkhaven have stated publicly their marriage is so strong because they _share_ a bed chamber.”

The Arl glared at the woman but said nothing. The younger male advisor took that as a cue to add, “Whatever, Your Majesty, decides, all we need at the moment is to know _how_ to decorate your suites.”

Alistair relaxed. “Very well. Inform Lady Cousland please. I will tend to that task after I deal with this never-ending mountain of letters.”

The three advisers nodded as they left the study. Eamon remained just as Alistair thought he would. After the door shut he said without looking up from his desk, “You have more words to say against Elyssa.”

“I have the utmost respect for Warden-Commander Cousland. She is—"

“ _That_ ceremony has not been held yet, and why do you continually use her Warden rank when we are alone? She is still a Lady of the House Cousland and soon your queen.” 

“She is the Hero of her Ferelden and soon to be Warden-Commander of Ferelden,” the Redcliff Arl countered smoothly. “Those responsibilities will conflict with her duties as queen. She cannot produce an heir.”

“She is _more_ than breeding stock, Eamon. She is the woman I love and will do Ferelden proud as a Queen _and_ Warden-Commander.”

“She is barren—"

“ ** _Enough_** , Eamon! Alistair roared as the other man took a step back. It was the first time in his life he had truly raised his voice at the man.

The King took a calming breath and concentrated on Elyssa. She would have handled it better. He had to try to do the same. “You would not stand for talk like that concerning Isolde. You chose her over other responsibilities and you now have a son. Allow me to make my own decisions rightly or wrongly. They will be _my_ choices and _my_ consequences.”

“Those consequences will affect more than just you. _Ferelden_ is your responsibility.”

“Then let me be responsible for it my way. And before you say it. This has nothing to do with me being childish or selfish. This is completely about me taking responsibility for my life, my decisions to take the crown, to follow through with a family legacy that was denied me until there was no other option.”

“I fought you and Elyssa both on accepting the throne until she showed me I have the ability to lead if I only believe in myself—something you _never_ showed me how to do. You took me in but that’s it. You have to live with the consequences of your actions. Ruling _my_ way is a result of that. Accept it or don’t. I don’t want to continually fight you on this. You can make peace with it or not. Your choice but you know what my decision is.”

Alistair truly had no desire to continue to fight with the man. It was becoming plainly obvious that the man he once considered something of a father figure was not going to change his position on the issue.

He watched as the Arl stood up straight. “I will assume that is a dismissal, Your Highness.”

His childhood fondness for the man came back. He didn’t want to outright oust him from court but he didn’t want him as a daily advisor either. “For today, yes. We have all been through so much in the past year. Especially your family. Perhaps spending time with them would be a welcome reprieve.”

“I will consider your words, Your Majesty,” Eamon replied as he turned and exited the study.

Alistair watched as the onetime parental figure left. It suddenly made him wonder exactly what kind of father he would be, if he would be different then his father. Could he become what he had always wanted in a father?

*****

Elyssa had met with a representative of the Grey Wardens from Orlais. It wasn’t the first of such meetings, and she was sure it would not be the last. The meeting that had just adjourned revolved around her promotion to Warden-Commander of Ferelden. The First Warden had given instructions to allow it even with her pending nuptials and her becoming Queen. His only warning was to make sure the Wardens were not exiled from Ferelden again. After that, she would be responsible for reporting to the Warden-Commander of _Orlais_. It was a backhanded compliment to grant her the rank of Warden-Commander but dictate she report to another Commander of her nation’s one time enemy.

She had no intention of doing so. Openly yes, she would inform the Orlesian Warden-Commander of the progress made in Ferelden and pass on reports of interest. But she most definitely had no intention of keeping another Commander in the know for every little thing that went on within her jurisdiction. She would proceed as she planned to as Queen. Put on the face everyone expected but tend to things her own way behind the scenes. It would be hard work, but she would make it work. She just needed to find the right people to help make it happen.

As such, the few Orlesian representatives that had arrived were not included in that category. She was also well aware that Wardens serving within one country did not necessarily hail from there. Keeping that in mind, she began to think that perhaps shopping around for trusted people was not only a good idea for the Wardens but also as Queen. Ferelden needed allies, trade partners, military alliances, spy networks. Perhaps her duties as Warden and Queen could overlap a little. It would be tricky, and she did not want to repeat Sophia Dryden’s fate.

She was a Cousland. She could use that, but she would have to be cautious. A name and reputation could only get you so far. She would have to build bridges based on her own reputation and word. Prove her intentions through actions. Being the Hero of Ferelden, she hoped she had a decent start to that though the Warden representatives were not impressed with the title.

They had asked about how she and Alistair had survived the slaying of the archdemon. She admitted that they had only been told of the fate of the slaying warden the night before and knew very little else about Grey Warden secrets outside of the things revealed during Alistair’s Joining. She mentioned that they had both held onto the sword as it landed the killing blow to the archdemon and had been thrown clear of it when a massive amount of energy had been released. Anything else was a haze to them. Neither had mentioned the ritual with Morrigan nor her request. As of now, all the Wardens had said was that the ceremony to install her as Warden-Commander would be delayed until after the wedding and that she would have to travel to Weisshaupt Fortress soon after to debrief the First Warden in person.

They had left then seeking an audience with Alistair and would then depart for Amaranthine. They wanted to assess The Vigil’s Keep as a base of operations for the Ferelden Wardens. She made no attempt to stop them, only morning the loss of the Howe home for the now disenfranchised children. She would make it up to them somehow, someday. But she had to focus on other concerns before she could make that happen.

“Alistair is correct. You develop an unflattering wrinkle between your eyebrows when you are thinking too hard about something,” a voice called to her from the shadows of the meeting room.

She turned to find Zevran leaning against a column with a teasing grin. “You really must stop that, or you will ruin your lovely features. Remember to mix business with pleasure in equal amount. That is the way to prevent becoming one of these lofty, boorish nobles.”

“Were you here the whole time, Zev?” she asked noting the mischievous glint in his eye. She wouldn’t have been surprised if he had been. The former Crow assassin had the uncanny ability to pop up around the Denerim castle in the most unexpected places.

“The whole time? No. Long enough to know that there is more going on than they are willing to tell you? Yes.”

Elyssa watched as he stepped out of the shadows, a dagger in his hand. “They will always have something more they won’t say. They are as bad as the nobility. They feel short changed because a novice Grey Warden bested the archdemon instead of a seasoned Warden and we both lived. They won’t ever fully trust me, I think. It almost feels as if my promotion to Warden-Commander is a mere formality so they can say they have re-established the Order in Ferelden.”

“It sounds as if you need people you can trust who work—how shall phrase it? _Outside_ the system?” the elf noted.

“Is that someone _you_?”

“Me. Or people like me,” Zevran replied as he continued to play with the dagger. “You have a particular talent for inspiring people from very different backgrounds. I would wager that you can use that to your advantage both as Warden-Commander and Queen. People owe you favors, not the Wardens or the crown but _you_.”

“Take me for instance. I owe you a life debt and you helped me win my freedom from the Crows. I shall never forget that, nor will I ever be able to repay you.”

“I didn’t do it so you would owe me--”

“You did it because your conscious told you to. And while I am often at odds with my own, I will always follow yours whenever you have need of my blades.”

Elyssa watched as he handed her the dagger he had been holding. On the hilt was the emblem of the Crows. “I have no use for this any longer. The ones Alistair allowed me to have commissioned at Wade’s Emporium as a boon are much better quality and a symbol of my new life. I hope this will remind you of the promise I have made to you, my dear Warden. My blade or my presence are always at your disposal. All you need do is call.”

“Zevran, I don’t know what to say,” she admitted. She knew this was his way of saying goodbye without actually saying it. She glanced from the dagger to him. “You will stay for the wedding won’t you?”

“Of course, who am I to miss out on the wedding of this age? And all the alcohol and beautiful people that will surely grace you and Alistair with their presence? All wanting something from you?” He replied with a laugh. “I would not miss that for all the gold in Empress Celene’s treasury. Though a night with her? No. Not even that.”

Elyssa rolled her eyes. She would miss him, but she knew he was right. She had earned the loyalty of not only him but many others along their travels across Ferelden to end the Blight and the Civil War. He had rightly observed that she had been able to rally people. Was that part of who she was; who she was meant to be? If so, how could she not use that in the months and years to come?

*****

“I hear that I am supposed to decorate my own suite and yours,” Elyssa commented with humor in her tone. “I also hear you may have told off the Arl of Redcliffe.”

Alistair stood with his back to her still in the study that had belonged to his half-brother and estranged father. With his arms crossed he continue gazing out the window at the setting sun. “Everyone thinks when you are King that you give an order or merely say something, and it’s done automatically. I thought that way.. I know better now. Too many people want things their way and want the ear of the bloody king to have it done because a custom or tradition or good old fashion selfishness.” 

He knew Elyssa heard the bitter tone in his voice. He turned to try and distract her from it as he saw her glance around the room. Slowly but surely he was making the room his. Not that people were making it easy. Their country had gone through three kings now since gaining their independence from Orlais. How could there not be pressure to stick to tradition? Orlais had tried their damnedest to suppress Ferelden culture. Now everyone could see how well that had gone.

She palmed a Mabari carving from the desk as she mused, “Theirins have been the sole Royal bloodline since Calenhad. That’s tradition. Couslands fought against one of the Theirins in hopes of gaining the throne. Instead they brokered a peace with my family gaining the status of Teyrn and next best chance at the throne if anything happened to the Theirins. Only the Mac Tirs were granted the title of Teyrn since then and that was Maric’s doing. That leaves Andorra to inherit that title as my brother has. Teyrns are the highest rank in the land, second only to the King. That’s tradition. So why are we listening to an _Arl_ who really needs to back off and look at his own mess first?”

Both her words and her tone caught his attention as he turned to her fully. “Blossom?”

Elyssa rung her hands and then gazed back at him. “Eamon has Ferelden‘s best interests at heart but the way which he wants to go about it is _wrong_. I know he has issues with me, and I will not bow to his wishes. But this needs to stop. Either he sees reason diplomatically--as in take care of Isolde and Connor and his Arling first or I play the game as the Orlesians say and he will _not_ win.”

“ _The game_?”

“Oh Ali, you still have a lot to learn but I need to show you something first,” she said as she beckoned him to follow. “I’ll explain in my room. Just don’t get angry. Well you can get angry just don’t do anything rash.”

“Lyssa, that sounds ominous.”

“With nobles, everything sounds ominous.”

He sighed as he followed. “At least the cheese supplies are good.”

“Are you sure?”

He gasped as Elyssa smiled. “Don’t you dare tease about that. _Ever_.”

****

_Warden Cousland (since you are no longer in a position to maintain you noble duties),_

_Your continued refusal to acknowledge the reality we all face it astounding. You have not only convinced Alistair that he should marry a woman with little chance at siring an heir, but you also have led him to believe he does not need guidance. How can you call yourself a noble, a Ferelden and encourage this? You were raised a Cousland, a family that embodies all that Ferelden is. Your parents would be very disappointed in your choices. That you have led the only possible ruler of Ferelden astray. I implore you to rethink your choices before it is too late. Bryce Cousland was a war hero who died protecting his family. He knew the true value of honor and duty. You are doing an injustice to him and his legacy. Eleanor knew the place of a lady and the duty of one born of noble rank. You shame her memory with your continued ignoring of her legacy. You are noble born and know your duty. For the sake of Ferelden, let go of your selfish fantasies and act as a Cousland should._

_Arl Eamon Guerrin of Redcliff_

It took everything Alistair had not to tear up the letter and throw it into the fireplace. By the look on Elyssa’s face, it was a good thing he was able to exercise any self-control at all. Apparently she had plans for the letter. However, his confusion mixed with anger did nothing to keep the situation calm.

“You kept this since before the Battle of Denerim. You never said _anything_ to me. All this time and you kept this from me,” the King said in a voice laced with sadness and hurt. “ _Why_?”

Her tone was even and her words logical. “He had it delivered while you were… _indisposed_ the night before the battle. He was not even there. He’d already left. It was meant to convince me to make the sacrifice myself and keep you alive…and convince me I was doing you and Ferelden a disservice by marrying you.”

“I _know_ this. I _know_ Eamon’s opinion on us,” Alistair said with pleading eyes, attempting to hide the betrayal he felt. “But _why_ wouldn't you tell me as soon as you received this? Do you not trust me after everything we've been through?”

Alistair instantly felt as if he'd been wrong to say anything but didn't apologize. His anger and hurt overwhelmed that thought. He put all of his trust in her, the only other person besides Duncan he had ever felt he could. And now she was keeping things from him.

Elyssa took a step back as if he had struck her. “I _couldn't_! You were with Morrigan! What was I supposed to do? _Interrupt_?”

“ _You_ asked me to _cavort_ with her!” He yelled back without thinking.

“To save your life, you ass!” She countered loudly.

“Which will produce a bastard child!”

“Why don't you yell that a little louder? I don't think Eamon heard you.”

They stared at one another both well aware of the others anger. Both aware that if anyone heard them rumors would start, and their future would be in even more danger. While it was unlikely anyone had actually heard them, the fact they had used the ritual with Morgan to hurt one another revealed the matter was not fully resolved.

Elyssa's face was flushed as she sat her jaw. Her eyes were hard as she continued to stare him down. She remained silent, stubbornly refusing the say anything else. He knew his own expression had to mirror hers, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything yet.

Arguing had never been a strength for him. It had always ended with him being called childish and petulant. He had never felt that way with Elyssa. He didn't like the feeling at all he was having now, knowing that they had their first true fight as lovers and not just comrades in arms. Knowing her stubborn streak, he knew she would not be the first to say anything. Deciding to mitigate any further damage he decided to take a chance. “I did not mean that.”

He saw her work her jaw and her lips begin to tremble. In a quiet voice she said, “I didn't either.”

Neither one moved for a long time, but Alistair ventured to speak further. “If there had been any other way I would have taken it.”

“If there had been any other way I wouldn't have asked,” Elyssa said trying to remain passive as she had been taught to. But she was talking to him not random members of court, and he knew it wouldn't last.

Finally deciding that his pride wasn’t worth it, Alistair opened his arms wide in front of him and simply said, “Blossom.”

Elyssa willingly fell into his arms as he embraced her tightly to his chest. He listened to her sob softly against his shoulder as he rubbed her back soothingly. She was always so strong for others including him. It had only been after several months on the road when she had finally allowed him to see her vulnerable side, her doubts. When she had let him see her cry. He said regretfully, “I don't want to fight about this. I know you know more about the game than I do and more about being a noble. I just don't like secrets between us especially things like _this_.”

“I was going to tell you. But I didn't want you to worry during the battle about what Eamon said. I planned on dealing with it later, but I just became overwhelmed with everything going on.”

“Then tell me _now_. You never hold on to things like that unless you have a plan for them,” Alistair requested as he looked down at her. “I've already suggested that Eamon leave court for a while and take care of Redcliffe and his family.”

“He won't be satisfied with that. He'll leave for a little while and then come back. Maybe even leaving Teagan in charge of Redcliffe,” Elyssa said. “He needs a reason to stay away from court. I just don't have one yet.”

“Then _we_ figure out a reason to keep him away for a while. In the meantime, we show him we don't need him, and his invaluable presence is needed elsewhere,” Alistair suggested as he moved to cup her face. “I know you have many things that you've had to deal with and not just Eamon. I spoke with the Grey Wardens earlier and they say that you will have to go to the Anders for a while to speak with the First Warden. We will figure this out, but we need to do it together. No more secrets even if you had intended to tell me. Promise?”

“Promise,” Elyssa agreed as she stood on her tip toes to kiss his nose. “Just as I promise not to joke about the cheese stores anymore.”

Alistair laughed as he kissed her properly. “I'm seriously thinking about declaring a day to celebrate the different kinds of cheeses. What do you think? Would that make Eamon think I know what I'm doing?”

“No. I believe he would conclude you need even more guidance. Perhaps you can just have a different cheese at each banquet we have instead, Your Majesty.”

He regarded her with an adoring expression. “You would willingly enable my love of cheeses wouldn't you?”

“If it makes you happy and gives you some sort of perverse pleasure at irritating the nobles, yes,” she replied with a grin of her own.

“I knew there was a reason I loved you.” Alistair grew quiet as he looked at her seriously. His thumbs grazing her lips as he asked, “So does this mean we're still good?”

“Ali, we are always good even when we fight. I hear that making up can be well worth it as well,” she answered with mischief in her voice.

“Ah. So, I've heard that as well, my lady. Should we find out? Or does that go against all these traditions and customs I hearing regarding the future King and Queen of Ferelden?”

“I say hang tradition and let's make some of our own. Traditions and things done by the generation before us can only get us so far. We need to make our own path and learn to live with it. Living in the shadow of our parents or those who came before is no way to live. The best we can do is learn from their trials and accomplishments and hope to build upon them to make Ferelden better than it was the day before. To become what we’ve always known we could be.”

“I am not my father, Lyssa. You are the only one for me. I love you and only you. We will make this work on our terms and your parents would be very, very proud of you. I know I am.”

“Thank you, Ali. I love you too. And I am beyond proud of the man you've become. Whatever results from the choices we made in the past we will deal with them together. I promise.”

“Oh good. I was hoping you'd be okay with being stuck with me for the rest of our lives.”

Elyssa gave him an annoyed look, but a gentle squeeze of her hand let him know she felt the same way. Being Maric’s son had never meant anything to him. Being Cailan’s half-brother simply meant he was an inconvenience. As Elyssa's husband though he felt he had finally found his place. It wasn't the crown or the throne or the title that gave him a sense of worth. It was one woman’s belief in him that he could be more then he thought. That he could overcome what he had been told all his life and make his own choice. That choice meant he could be his own person and find his own way. And if he ever got lost all he had to do was look at the woman standing at his side and he would find his way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title inspired by the song "Change Your Life" by Little Mix


	3. Meant to Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Elyssa adjusts to her new role as future Queen, those she trusts most help her to realize that she cannot assume responsibility for things beyond her control. The loss of childhood friends does not make that an easy lesson to learn but Alistair reveals something that might help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Canonically Rendon Howe only had three children: Delilah and Thomas (mentioned in Origins) and Nathaniel (introduced in Awakening). I added a fourth child, Miriam, as an original character for another story I am writing for Inquisition but have not posted yet. This is meant to be a brief introduction to her.***

“How is Delilah? I heard she is married and expecting,” Elyssa asked as she looked over the choice of décor for the royal chambers. She had no intention of sleeping alone but it was custom for the king and queen to have separate chambers.

For arguments sake she indulged the royal decorator and chose things inspired by her life in Highever. She attempted to maintain simplicity both because it was in her nature and she did not want to spend a fortune on decorating a room she wasn’t sure how often would be used. Her brother offered only a few sparse comments about the choices having arrived from Highever by Amaranthine that morning. 

“She is well,” Fergus replied as he scratched his beard. “She is apparently married now. To a merchant no less. They met during one of her trips to the markets while her father was away. They began courting in secret and married right after the Battle of Denerim.”

“That’s wonderful,” Elyssa said sincerely but she couldn’t help the feeling responsibility for Delilah’s circumstances.

“She sends her regards and asked when you might visit,” Fergus added watching her carefully.

“Please pick out a blue fabric for the curtains,” the younger Cousland said, “I don’t know. With the wedding and the Wardens still demanding answers…”

“Elyssa,” he said quietly moving to stand behind her. “She does not blame you. She blames Rendon…There is something else though…Thomas is dead.” 

“Thomas?” She echoed in disbelief turning to her brother. The decorator forgotten. “He’s dead? Are you sure?”

“Yes. Delilah received a letter from a Fereldan army captain,” Fergus explained solemnly. “Their bastard father couldn’t even be bothered to properly inform his daughters himself.” 

Elyssa had enough presence of mind to ask the decorator for a break. The man complied saying he had more choice fabric to retrieve anyway. Once the door shut behind him, she asked, “ _How?”_

Her brother took several settling breaths. “Thomas was helping garner support for his father. Ever since Nathaniel was sent to the Marches, Rendon set about grooming him for the political arena. He was negotiating with some nobles in the bannorn when they came under darkspwan attack. Thomas was killed. Apparently he was unarmed.”

“Why? He could fight. He had training,” she said still finding it hard to believe he was gone. The younger Howe son had always been a kind, intelligent, strategic man. How has he been unarmed? Especially during a Civil War and a Blight. He had always been better with words than the sword but still…

“Delilah thinks Rendon wanted to distance him from Nathaniel. He persuaded him to give up combat training and pursue politics only. He wanted a son that mirrored him,” he said sadly as he sat down near the large window overlooking the gardens. “Father always said he was different after the Battle of White River. I always thought that meant he simply became more of a statesmen then a warrior.”

“He became a lying thieving manipulative murderous bastard,” Elyssa stated as Fergus looked up at her with concern. “He deserved to die by my blade for what he did to our family. But what he did to his? I’m not sure even the Maker can forgive that.”

“Sister, you must calm yourself. He is dead and Delilah is happy with her new life. Whatever happened to Thomas is _not_ your fault.”

“I know.”

There was a long moment of silence between them. The afternoon sun began to cast a long shadow into the room. Fergus finally spoke again. “I wrote Nathaniel shortly after Alistair’s formal coronation. I have yet to receive a response.”

Elyssa closed her eyes. “We can make a formal inquiry with the Vaels if we fail to hear from him. I won’t let all the Howe children suffer because of their father. Lady Elaine was such a good woman. I pray Thomas and Miriam find peace with their mother at the Maker’s side.”

“Miriam is dead? How?” It was her brother’s turn to be shocked. “Delilah said she was missing.”

Elyssa sat down on the large window seat by her brother’s his chair and took a breath. “She is presumed dead. No sign of her was found after the Battle of Denerim. I sent out people to look for any trace of her. Nothing.”

“Why was she in Denerim to begin with?”

“When Alistair and I went to the Arl’s estate to free Anora, we went to the dungeon. It was horrible. So many wrongly imprisoned and tortured. We freed them and Riordin , the Grey Warden who died during the battle. But we also found Miriam. She’d been in prison there for weeks we think.”

She watched as Fergus’ jaw clinched. “Why would he do that? Everyone knows he never cared for her but still…”

“Correspondence we found later shows that he had planned to use Anora in a political plot against the Grey Wardens. He proposed to Loghain to have her killed and blame Alistair and me. When Loghain refused he turned to his daughters. We think Delilah escaped simply because she wasn’t at the Vigil’s Keep for whatever reason. Miriam was the only one kidnapped and taken to Denerim. After she was freed she said she would find her uncle. I asked Leonas as the Landsmeet if he had seen her. He said no and says he hasn’t seen or heard from her since.”

Fergus fisted his hand. “She was the youngest of us. She deserved better. Mother made the offer multiple times to have her stay with us after Lady Elaine passed. He always said no. I think he took it personally that we would want her when he clearly didn’t.”

“I should have made sure she reached her uncle but there were so many things we had to do ahead of the Landsmeet.”

“None of this is your fault, Lyssie. You did everything you could and more to try and fix all the wrongs Loghain and Howe did. I doubt anyone could have done a better job.”

“You’re saying that just because I’m your sister.”

“My sister who is to be the queen of Ferelden. I don’t believe my words are hollow simply because you are my kin. You accomplished a great many things during a time of great adversity. Do not ever let anyone take that from you. Do not let others convince you this was not meant to be.”

“You always knew what to say.”

“Comes with being a Cousland. You should know that. Now tell me. Who’s suite will you two actually be using?”

“Fergus!”

“I was married. I know how it is. He loves you. It’s plain to see. You two were meant to be. Don’t ever forget that. Someday it may be the only thing you have of him.”

***

Elyssa sat in the Queen’s sitting room. It was where she was apparently expected to carryout queenly business. It was decidedly feminine and reminded her of a similar room her mother had kept in Highever. Eleanor Cousland, however, conducted her business wherever she liked. Her father had told her in secret once that she kept it mainly to appease some noble women who had never learned anything outside of the womanly arts as he had put it. That was code for never having done anything for themselves ever.

She couldn’t see her doing anything other than what her mother had done. The daughter of the Soldier and the Seawolf would not be kept locked up in some fancy cage to conduct menial tasks of state. Anora had not even done as tradition demanded. Ruling the land in Cailan’s shadow, the young woman had done well for herself until the issue of an heir had risen. Casting blame on the woman, Cailan had consorted in secret with Empress Celene of Orlais about a possible alliance through marriage. Elyssa felt anger on behalf of the woman for her husband attempting to cast her aside.

To her knowledge it took two to produce a child. What if it had been Cailan? Theirins were known for their wondering eyes and had a history of affairs. Alistair’s existence was proof of that. There was numerous rumors of affairs concerning both father and son, yet Cailin had not produced a bastard heir. Elyssa had half expected one to appear so soon as he had been killed yet none did. Either none ever existed or Loghain had dealt with them one way or another. She leaned more towards the former option simply because nothing in recovered correspondence from the former Teyrn mentioned the issue.

While grossly misguided, Elyssa could partially sympathize with Loghain’s anger at Cailan. His son-in-law had attempted to cast the man’s daughter aside for the leader of their former enemy. Who wouldn’t be angry? She would be livid to say the least if Alistair attempted such a thing and there was no telling what Fergus would do. None-the-less, she didn’t feel worried about that possibility. He had been the product of such a secret liaison and hated the very idea.

Looking around the room she decided to leave most of it alone. She had been told that Queen Rowan had initially decorated the space. Anora had added her own touches but nothing drastic. Deciding the only add of few things that might hint at a Queen from Highever, she would leave the rest intact—to honor the two strong, intelligent women who had come before her. Maybe one day someone would do the same for her, if that were meant to be.

“They said I would find you here,” a kind elderly voice came from the doorway.

Elyssa turned to find Wynne standing in her Circle robes carrying her staff. Her cloak wrapped around shoulders. “Wynne! Are you leaving?”

The white-haired mage nodded. “I’m afraid so, my dear. I have been called back to the Circle.”

“I thought you said you didn’t want to be in charge of the Circle,” Cousland said as she crossed the room.

Wynne chuckled. “I don’t, but I can still help rebuild. Now that the Civil War it over and the Blight ended, people’s focus have shifted back to old problems. With the truth of the Circle’s fall finally being told, the mages have even more they must do to gain back would precious little trust we had to begin with.”

“It wouldn’t be easy. Some of the templars there weren’t exactly friendly when we went back to ask for help with Connor,” Elyssa noted as she shifted her skirts. Some of them had been down right hostile. The one survivor of the Blood Mages had outright demanded the return of Wynne and that she be locked up in case she harbored a demon.

“None of us have an easy path to walk, my child,” the mage replied with a bittersweet smile. “We have accomplished great things but in the days, months, and years ahead we must attempt to keep what we have gained. I hope to help not just my Circle, but all the Circles understand that. Mages and Templars can coexist in balance with one another to keep magic safe.”

“Do you really believe that? What of that one knight-templar? Cullen? He would have you locked up on sight.”

Wynne shook her head. “Ewing informed me the Knight-Commander Gregor relieved him of his post for a time and sent him to Greenfell to recover. He endured something truly horrible and only time will heal his wounds. I hope and pray one day he finds the peace he needs.”

“It sounds like you blame yourself…”

“Myself? No. Do I think sometimes I could have done more to help him and the other templars? Yes,” the mage admitted. “But I had young mages to protect. If I had left them to aid the Templars, they would be dead. I had to make a choice and now I must live with it.”

Elyssa averted her eyes to the painting of Queen Rowan. Choices were all about consequence and the ability to live with them. Could she do it? Be Queen and Warden-Commander?

“Elyssa, you have come far in your young life. You and Alistair have made hard choices. The path you have chosen will be difficult,” Wynne observed with a knowing gaze. “But if two people can make it work, it is you two. Together you will always have the support you need to make the hard choices no one else can. Believe in that and you will go far.”

Cousland met her gaze. She had made the best choice possible during the search of the Arl’s dungeon. She had freed Miriam and so many others. She had helped end the Civil War and the Blight. Now she could help everyone rebuild. She could keep looking for Miriam. Fergus had been lost for nearly a year. Who was to say that Miriam wouldn’t turn up?

“I will miss your council, Wynne,” Elyssa admitted. “I would say that I could convince Alistair to offer you a position at court, but you would quickly become bored or annoyed with it.”

Wynne laughed. “Too true, my dear. But I will always answer a letter if sent. And who’s to say I won’t ever travel to Denerim again? These old bones aren’t ready for the pyre just yet. And I will be back for your wedding of course.”

Elyssa hugged her. “I will miss you more than your council.”

“And I will miss both you and Alistair,” the mage replied as she returned the embrace. “Please remind him if he needs instructions on the birds and the bees all he need to is write me.”

Elyssa laughed. “I will. Please travel safely where ever the Maker takes you.”

“You as well, Elyssa. I feel the Maker still has a great many things he needs you and Alistair to do before all is said and done.”

***

“You aren’t responsible for everyone’s fate, you know,” Alistair said softly as he stood behind her on his private balcony. They weren’t married yet and had separate quarters. Alistair hadn’t allowed that to stop him from sharing a bed with her.

“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” Elyssa replied as she felt his hands on her waist.

“Blossom, I’m king not stupid,” the royal chided as he kissed her neck. “I know Wynne left for Kinloch today. I know not everything is turning out the way we had hoped. I also know that the fate of the Howes is not on your head. We will make sure the children are taken care of as best we can.”

“Fergus says Delilah is happy with her situation. It’s too late for Thomas and no one has heard from Nathaniel. And then there’s Miriam…”

“Miriam has always been a strong girl,” Alistair said. She turned in his arms to see him staring back at her with conviction. “Yes. I know her. Or _knew_ her before Eamon sent me away to the monastery.”

Elyssa wasn’t sure what to say. She had known Miriam because their families were allies and their parents close friends. But for Alistair to know her and speak of her with such certainty? “Is that why she… She hugged you the way she did?”

She played the image of the dark-haired young woman falling into his arms as soon as he had identified himself. Now as then she couldn’t help but feel a little jealous that another woman could find comfort in his arms. It was a irrational and unbecoming but it was there.

Alistair nodded as he continue to hold her waist. “I knew her from her family’s visits to Red Cliff before I was sent away. Eamon hosted gatherings of nobles several times a year and she always came. But several of the other children would bully her. Howe made it no secret even at that young age that she wasn’t wanted by him.”

“I know that. My mother tried to convince him several times to allow her to come live with us,” Elyssa said placing her hands on his chest. “He always said no even though Lady Elaine I think wanted to say yes.”

A shadow past ever Alistair’s face. “I know what it is to be unwanted. Maybe that’s why we got along so well. She would hide in the barn when they chased her. That’s how I met her, hiding in a pile of straw. We became friends after that. She helped with my chores and I told her stories. Ones I made up to entertain myself, but she seemed to enjoy them too.”

“I am glad for that, but I just want to know,” she murmured looking at his chest.

“We are doing everything we can to find out something, blossom,” he replied cupping her cheek. “Don’t think you’re the only one who desires answers.”

“We – I should have made sure she made it to safety. Her uncle was in Denerim! Why didn’t—"

Alistair shook her. “ _Stop_ this, Elyssa. Her fate is not your fault. _We_ made a choice. We put the future for Ferelden above one life. We freed her and others. At that moment it was all we could do. Now we try to pick up the pieces. This won’t be the last time we have to put Ferelden before a single life.”

Elyssa regarded him in surprise. She knew he could be a quick study if he wanted to be, but for him to tell her the truth she should have known was surprising. “Alistair I—"

He placed his forehead against hers. “I have to be a quick study to keep up with the nobility. Maybe one day I’ll be a step ahead. But I never want to give you up because of duty.”

“Both of us know that’s a possibility,” she whispered wishing she weren’t right.

“Can we pretend that _I_ am right just this once? I like my reality better,” the king asked with a grin his hands moving to hold the base of her skull. “So much has changed. This. Us. Was a story I used to tell myself to keep me from feeling so lonely and helpless. Now I have you. I want to keep the story how I imagined it.

“The king gets to pick his queen and they rule together?” She asked mirroring his grin.

“No, blossom. The boy gets the girl and they live happily ever after.”

Elyssa couldn’t help the wide smile that blossomed on her face. He didn’t want the big elaborate life he now had. He wanted the simplest thing anyone could want – love. The little boy who only ever knew loneliness as a child now commanded an entire nation and at heart he just wanted love.

Finally, she nodded as she agreed, “I think Your Majesty has an excellent point. Perhaps hoping for the best and doing what we can to make it happen is the way to proceed.”

“I am glad my lady approves,” Alistair beamed as he kissed her. “I will endeavor to have similar insights in the future.”

Elyssa knew he meant it as he turned them to look out over the royal garden. Maybe in the future they would cross paths again with Wynne and their other former companions. Maybe in the future they would find Miriam and Nathaniel. She knew hoping and preparing would only get you so far.

_This-_ us _was meant to be no matter the challenges we will face,_ she thought has a hopeful smile graced her features.

But maybe it would even be enough to give them a good beginning to Alistair’s childhood fairytale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by the song "Made in Heaven" by Queen


	4. Know Your Worth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Alistair and Elyssa prepare for their wedding, they seek an alliance with the last person anyone would expect. Elyssa in particular learns more about the possible personal cost of wearing the crown as parts of Cailan's past of revealed.

“I would assume this is to show a united front against me. However, I do not see Eamon present so I shall leave it to you to explain exactly why I am here,” Anora Mac Tir noted as she stood before the King and soon-to-be queen of Ferelden. The blonde woman defiantly waited for their response. She had been summoned shortly before they were to depart for their honeymoon. Having arrived from Gwaren just that morning she had pointedly refused to rest. Instead, asking to see Elyssa and Alistair at their earliest convenience.

An hour later the three stood in unoccupied library regarding each other silently. Alistair broke the silence with his usual awkward way. “Why would Eamon be here? I'm not married to him and—"

A slight jab in the ribs by Elyssa’s elbow caused Alistair to look at her with a pouty expression. “What was that for?”

“Your Majesty has business to discuss,” she reminded him.

“Oh, fine,” he said in a sulky tone as he turned back to Anora. “I—that is Eamon has returned to Redcliff for the present time. That Arling needs time to repair damage caused by the Blight and the war. His family needs to heal after the events of Connor's possession and the Arl's poisoning.”

Anora studied them silently for several long moments. Redcliff was one of the Arlings that had seen some of the dark parts of the Blight. Redcliff village itself had experienced demons attacks as well because of Isolde’s choice to conceal Connor’s magic. The fact of the matter was that several people both noble and common had started to question whether either the Arl or Arlessa truly had their people’s best interests at heart. The choice to conceal their child’s magic placing her people in danger did not help in the court of public opinion. In fact, there was a few threatening to launch a formal inquiry into Isolde’s actions, alleging she broke Chantry law, using her noble status to conceal her actions.

“All fair points and quite true. I am certain most of the nobility believe the reasons for his absence from court—for now. However, you both are to leave soon without anyone trusted to represent you at court.”

Elyssa remained passive as Alistair widened his eyes. “You know that—,”

“I _was_ queen, Your Majesty. I know what is expected,” Anora interjected with no hint of malice. “What you require now is someone to keep the nobles in check while you are gone.”

Alistair looked helplessly at Elyssa who only gestured for him to keep talking. He made an annoyed face but did as her silent command willed. “Yes. Things have come to light that have given me doubts as to Arl Eamon's ability to carry out our directives as we intend. We thought others may be a better choice.”

“Eamon is loyal to Ferelden. Make no mistake about Anora stated firmly. “He is ridged in his beliefs and practices. He did not believe in the progressive ideas Cailan had. Some were fanciful admittedly. But others could have aided in Ferelden growth. Pushing us further from reliance on trade with Orlais. Alliances with the Free Marches and others would have strengthened us across multiple fronts…but my husband apparently opted for an easier path…without me.

The room fell silent again as the three remembered Cailan's offer of marriage to Empress Celene in order to cement an alliance. It would have meant divorcing Anora and most likely Ferelden resulting in becoming a province of Orlais again in practice if not in name. Loghain had used that as his justification for abandoning his king at Ostagar. While his anger was understandable his resulting actions were not.

Alistair turned his head to what would have been his sister-in-law. His expression was not one of pity but of empathy. “I don't claim to know everything that went on between you and Cailan. I know a great many people believed you actually ruled Ferelden and look up to you. They _still_ do. I do know that you are an intelligent, strategic minded woman who defended the interests of her home for five years as queen and many before. Any person would be a fool to discount your strong will and experience-- husband or otherwise.”

“And you are not a fool?” Mac Tir asked. Her opinion of Alistair had been well documented during the Landsmeet. She had outright rejected ruling with him as husband and wife. Her views had been tempered some since then upon her release from custody and return to Gwaren.

“Oh no, Lady Anora. I am very much. Just not that kind,” Alistair corrected with a lopsided grin.

Anora's stoic features broke into a confused expression. Elyssa just shook her head. “He means he does not think letting your talents go to waste is a good idea.”

“ _Ah_ ,” the blonde woman uttered, returning to a passive expression. She still cared not one bit for his lack of seriousness or decorum when discussing matter of state.

“ _Alistair_ ,” Elyssa scolded quietly. She had been attempting to encourage him to take the lead on things, only providing a nudge her and there if necessary. Of course, there were times when she did have to take charge…

“Fine, fine. I can have _some_ fun.” He trailed as he gestured to the other woman. “We need a system of checks and balances in place while we are gone as Elyssa phrased it. She picked Fergus. Obviously, we can trust her brother. _I_ chose you.”

Anora shook her head. “I am sorry. You chose me for…”

Elyssa let out a growl. “What Alistair is so clumsily saying is this: we don’t trust Eamon or another noble to represent us while we are away. Fergus, I trust because he is my brother and is well respected by the others. You have the knowledge and experience and respect of the others as well. For all intents and purposes, you and my brother are opposite sides--at least that is how the public sees it. If the two Teyrns of Ferelden can set aside their differences and work together to keep things in check...That is a powerful symbol…plus we could leave for a few weeks with our minds at ease.”

“Two Teyrns? Gwaren has no—”

“Actually, you are correct. Fergus is the only Teyrn. We meant to say Teyrna for you,” Alistair amended as he looked to Alyssa. “Wasn't that the correct title for your mother?”

She nodded as Anora narrowed her eyes. “You would make me Teyrna of Gwaren just to babysit the court in your absence?”

“Actually, I'm afraid it's worse than that.” Alistair replied gravely. “I intended to make you a Teyrna regardless. Against the advice of Eamon, mind you. I also thought about asking you to serve as an ambassador to the other nations. I hear you were lobbying for stronger trade alliances with some of the Free Marches before the Blight and since Gwaren is a trade port doesn’t that make its Teyrna a good choice for such a position?”

She paused, a smile tugging at her lips. “You are a fool just as your brother was…but an honest one.”

Alistair gave her a confused look. “Does that mean you’ll accept?”

“Yes,” she replied as she glanced to Elyssa. “Fergus is at least respectable company.”

“A slap to the back of the head does wonders if he gets out of line, Lady Anora,” she offered as she gestured to Alistair. “Works on him too.”

Anora raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps if I had tried such a deterrent...”

She hesitated for a fraction of a second, her expression faltering. Almost as quickly it was gone, replaced by her trademark passive gaze. “You should have everything in writing for this. Just as you have my promise to rescind all claims to the throne.”

“Anora, this is not an attempt to placate you or make amends,” Alistair said suddenly very serious. “I truly think you are the best choice for all of this. I mean it. No one should underestimate you or take you for granted. They are the real fools if they do.”

Mac Tir regarded the king in shocked silence as he stepped forward and took her hand. Kissing it he said, “I appreciate what you have done and will continue I do for Ferelden. I will take my leave now. More meetings about non-sensible things, you know.”

Kissing Elyssa’s check as he bade her goodbye he walked through the door, shutting it behind him. Cousland turned back to the other woman. “I had copies of all this drawn up in triplicate for all of us to sign. It can be brought to your quarters when you are ready.”

As she motioned for Mac Tir to follow, Anora asked, “He is truly open about his emotions, his thoughts, isn’t he?”

Elyssa glanced back at the library door. “Yes. At least he is most of the time. When he feels hopeless or unwanted, he hides behind humor.”

“Cailan was charming, funny, but he didn’t tell me everything…They are both Theirins but still so different,” the blonde noted, as she glanced to the door the king had exited through. “Eamon kept him hidden away, waiting to use him…”

“You _knew_ about Alistair?”

“Yes. My father told me. I am unsure how much Cailan knew or if he even cared. It probably just added to his fantasy he had about being King. That’s all it seemed to be in the end…He wanted excitement, all the adventures Maric had while liberating Ferelden. That’s why he pushed for Ostagar. A battle to rival one of his father’s…And a secret alliance with Orlais to become a ruler greater than Maric. In the end, it was his bastard brother who had the grand adventure, the legendary victory, the fabled Hero of Ferelden as his queen.”

Her tone was not angry or jealous but sad and wistful. Elyssa wrung her hands but felt compelled to say something regardless of decorum. “It’s not my place to say anything, but…I can tell you loved him. That isn’t any excuse to have someone treat you—What he considered doing with Celene was wrong. Alistair was completely right about that. When we found the documents at Ostagar he was so angry Cailan would consider that. Maric had an affair and it produced Alistair. He takes vows to the one you love very seriously.”

“I pray that he continues to believe that,” Anora said earnestly, her eyes locking with Elyssa’s. “The crown provides temptations most never have to face. Alistair was not raised by Maric. I realize his childhood was not ideal, but he seems a good man. He spared me when he did not have to.”

“Anora—”

“Losing everything makes one appreciate what one has left. Do you not agree?”

Elyssa nodded. They could at least agree on that. “I still feel like either it’s not real or that one word from the wrong person will end it all.”

Anora looked out one of the large windows to the horizon. “Whether you believe in me or not, I will continue to exist.”

She glanced back at Elyssa, noting her confusion. Giving her a tight smile, she explained, “Something my father once told me…He and Maric arranged our marriage with the hopes I would level out Cailan in order to rule properly. After a while everyone simply adored my beauty and forgot about my wits. They may not have believed in me, but I existed. Cailan may no longer have believed in me but I existed. I _still_ exist.”

“The people will believe in you if you give them reason to. But you must exist regardless of their thoughts or the nobles or even Alistair’s. You must learn to stand alone even in a crowd. That is what a true queen does. Rowan did. Moira did. I would like to think I did. You must as well.”

“Alistair believes in me.”

“Yes. Anyone can see that, but you must believe in yourself first…You must know your worth,” Anora insisted. “I will tell what I only told my handmaiden, not even my father.”

“I stumbled across Cailan’s plan before Ostagar. I thought proving my diplomacy skills with strengthening economic alliance would change his mind. Obviously, it did not. I confused a lesson for a soulmate. You were right. I loved him but that wasn’t enough. _I_ wasn’t enough. I should be enough. Alistair is wiser than he appears.”

Elyssa gave Mac Tir a look. “ _No_. You may not tell him I said that.”

“This is not as easy as you made it look,” Cousland admitted as she gestured around them. “Eamon questions Alistair’s choice to marry me and whether I can—”

“Produce an heir?” Anora finished with a knowing expression. “Yes. After two years of marriage to his nephew, he did the same to me. Lovely how it is always the woman’s fault.”

“Grey Wardens aren’t known for their fertility,” Elyssa noted bitterly, averting her eyes to the floor.

“While an heir is needed to keep the Theirin line in power, Cailan failed to produce one legitimately or otherwise,” Mac Tir observed. It was no secret Cailan had had a wandering eye just as his father had. “We both underwent examinations by both doctors and mage healers. They could find nothing wrong with me.”

“Cailan was the one—”

“Please do not repeat this. He was born to Rowan while she suffered from a wasting illness. In truth, she was infected by the darkspawn taint. It is believed that his mother’s sickness prevented Cailan from conceiving with me or anyone else. He refused to believe it and forbade anyone from discussing it.”

“Anora, I—”

“I know we were never friends growing up. I believed we always had a healthy respect for the other though. I do not blame you any longer for my father. He betrayed his king and enabled a Civil War while ignoring a Blight. Blaming you and Alistair will gain me nothing but misery. My father loved his country. I would like to honor that part of him. If assuring that Ferelden has a strong queen aids in that, then I will do it.”

“Thank you—”

“Do not thank me. It is my duty as a loyal Fereldan,” she said. “But I would welcome a peace between us…and maybe someday friendship.”

“I would welcome that day,” Elyssa replied genuinely.

Anora nodded. “Now to business…”

******

“Anora didn’t talk you out of marrying me, did she?” Alistair asked with a nervous glance. He sat shirtless on the bed against the headboard.

“Why would you think that” Elyssa asked innocently as she undid the tie to her robe.

“I was told you and she spent a great deal of the morning together,” he replied, his eyes following every move she made.

“We were discussing what you proposed, and she has some ideas of her own,” Elyssa replied as she pulled the covers back. “She holds nothing back especially when her council is welcomed.”

He watched as his betrothed slipped under the covers and into his lap. “And you trust her advice?”

“You suggested bringing her back to Denerim.”

“Yes. Alright. It’s my fault she’s here. But I didn’t want her here to break us up—”

“She actually thinks you might make a proper king someday,” she commented as his face lit up.

“Really?”

“With lots and lots of practice,” she added as his expression soured.

“That’s not nice,” he pouted as he placed his hands on her thighs.

“Maybe. But she did let me in on other things the king should be made aware of,” she said dropped her voice to a whisper as she nuzzled his ear with her nose.

“Can it wait till morning? My hands seem to be full of other pressing matters,” he asked huskily as he tilted his head up to kiss her.

“That sounds like an excellent idea, Your Majesty,” she murmured against his lips.

He lifted a hand to her hair, pushing some behind her ear. “You know I love you. No matter what, I won’t forsake you.”

She nodded. Anora’s words of knowing and realizing her own worth echoing in her head. “I know.”

“And you know you inspire me every day by how you keep going despite everything,” he added with an adoring grin. “I really man a lucky man.”

Elyssa made a contented sound as she wrapped her arms around his neck, happy to be in his strong, welcoming arms.

“Morrigan would call me foolish,” Alistair said squeezing her to him.

“Anora agrees,” she noted as he made a pouting sound. “But you’re _my_ fool.”

“Ah, I love it when you let me know exactly how you feel about me.”

“I love you, Ali.”

“I know, blossom. I’d be a bigger fool not to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title inspired by the song "Know Your Worth" by Khalid and Disclosure


	5. Today and Every Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." ~Mignon McLoughlin
> 
> Elyssa and Alistair spend their first night together as a married couple, discovering all over again why they love each other.
> 
> ****Rating changed to Mature for sexual content****

_“You are the star of each night,_

_You are the brightness of every morning,_

_You are the story of each guest,_

_You are the report of every land._

_No evil shall befall you, on hill nor bank,_

_In a field, valley, on a mountain or in a glen.”_

_“I pledge my love to you, and everything that I own._

_I promise you the first bite of my meat and the first sip from my cup._

_I pledge that your name will always be what I scream aloud in the dead of night._

_I promise to honor you above all others._

_Our love is never-ending, and we will remain, forevermore, equals in our marriage. This is my wedding vow to you.”_

Elyssa’s eyes never wavered from Alistair’s as he recited his vows. His brown eyes showing with love, excitement, and nervousness as he spoke the words. A smile tugged at his lips as he recited the verses they had each decided to speak. She could feel his hands shake as he finished. 

The Reverend Mother said it was now her time to recite her own vows. Elyssa was aware of her own hands trembling as she began. Reassuringly Alistair squeezed her hands. Letting a smile spread across her features she squeezed back.

_“You cannot possess me for I belong to myself_

_But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give_

_You cannot command me, for I am a free person_

_But I shall serve you in those ways you require_

_and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.”_

_“Neither above, nor below, neither in the sea,_

_Nor onshore, in skies above,_

_Nor in the depths._

_You are the kernel of my heart,_

_You are the face of my sun,_

_You are the harp of my music,_

_You are the crown of my company.”_

_“Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow._

_Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead._

_Walk beside me and just be my friend.”_

_“Our love is never-ending, and we will remain, forevermore, equals in our marriage. This is my wedding vow to you.”_

The Reverend Mother said a few more words as Elyssa glanced down at their hands. Both of their left hands sported a gold band. A simple band that still allowed gloves and gauntlets to be worn over them. It wasn’t the extravagant rings people had shown them or advised them to choose. She didn’t care. It was what they had both agreed on.

A gentle pull from Alistair brought her back to the here and now. She glanced up at him seeing his broad genuine smile. She couldn’t help but return it as she realized why he gotten her attention.

“In the eyes of the Maker and his blessed bride Andraste, these two souls are now bound together. Together may you always find love and safety in each other’s hearts. Together may you lead our great nation to prosperity and certainty. You may now kiss the bride.” 

Before Elyssa could fully register what the Reverend Mother had said, Alistair‘s hands were cupping her face tilting her head up just so. His warm lips sought out hers in a kiss that echo their first, the one that held such a promise. And now she was married to him, that promised kept. Now he seemed to be making a new one as she gave herself over to him, allowing him to lead. All she did know for certain was that she never wanted to be without his kisses and the promise he made it with them.

After what seemed like an eternity he broke the kiss with a smirk as he turned them towards the mass of people below. She and Alistair stood tall for them as the Reverend Mother proclaimed, “People of Ferelden, I give you King Alistair Theirin and Queen Elyssa Cousland Theirin. May their reign be long and peaceful.”

Thunderous applause erupted throughout the Great Hall of the Denerim castle as the people cheered. Alistair learned over as they both waved. “I promise to live up to all of this applause tonight.”

Elyssa barely managed to keep her composure as the Reverend Mother made a disapproving sound behind them. It was mirrored in the eyes of Arl Eamon Guerrin standing a few steps below on Alistair’s side of the hall. He had only come back from Redcliff for the wedding and then would be gone again with a day or two. Elyssa ignored both displays. It was her day. No. _Their_ day. Hers and Alistair‘s. She would not let anyone take that from them. 

***

The celebration had lasted well into the night. Elyssa knew that the people needed something positive to focus on after so much hardship. She also knew it wouldn’t last. Something else would catch their attention. Probably bad if Eamon had anything to say about it. She would just have to make sure that there was always something good for her people to gossip about. Eventually, regardless of her efforts there would be intrigue and drama of some kind.

As she glanced at herself in the mirror she saw Alistair approach from behind. He had already shed most of his formal garb, down to a linen shirt and cotton breeches. He came to stand behind her, his copper hair reflecting the fire light. He smiled at her in the mirror as his hands came to rest on her bare shoulders. She allowed herself to relax against him grateful the day was over.

He began kissing her neck as he massaged her shoulders. “Are you as overwhelmed as I am that you are now Queen Elyssa Cousland Theirin of Ferelden?”

“I was still hung up on simply being your wife,” she admitted with a grin.

His brown eyes met her blue ones in the mirror. “Yes, well I am rather proud of that.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “You are proud that I’m your wife or that you made me your wife?”

Letting his hands fall to her hips Alistair replied honestly, “I am proud that you deem me worthy enough to be your husband.”

She turned in his arms to face him. “Please tell me you don’t think I married you simply because you became king.”

He shook his head. “No but I was told all my life I could not use my father’s name. I grew up without one. Now… You have it.”

She caressed his cheek. “Silly, Ali. I didn’t marry you for a crown or even a name. I married you because you are _you_. If you hadn’t taken the throne I would still have married you.”

“You like my jokes that much?” He asked holding her tightly.

“Maybe not all of them but I do you like _you_ ,” she teased as she kissed him quickly.

“Oh no my dear wife,” Alistair exclaimed as he prevented her from pulling back. “I think I will need more clarification on what this _liking_ concept means… What exactly do you _like_?”

“I could tell you… _And_ show you.”

“Oh Maker! I forgot how much of a minx you can be.”

“Then let me remind you _my prince_.”

The flirtatious sound of her voice and the nickname she used as an endearment made Alistair glad he had shed everything but an undershirt and breeches. He whipped his shirt over his head, tossing it carelessly behind him. “Is this the part where we are supposed to consummate our relationship? Both of us blushing and awkwardly clinging to one another in the throes of passion for the first time?”

Elyssa began to pull at the strings of his breeches as she gave him a wicked grin. “I’m sure that’s what is _supposed_ to happen but we both know this is _not_ the first time.”

His hazel eyes dropped to what her hands were doing. “Be that as it may, there will still be plenty of blushing and awkward clinging won’t there? I would hate to disappoint the gossipmongers.”

She chuckled mischievously. “I’m sure our escapades have already given them much to gossip about. I seem to remember one servant chattering about how loud I screamed your name our first night here.”

He let out a groan as her fingers found his newly freed arousal. With just a few gentle strokes she had him rock hard and panting. “Maker’s breath, you still do that to me after everything…”

Elyssa smiled with pride as he brought his hands to her shoulders. She opened her mouth to reply but was cut off by a hungry kiss. As he trailed warm, wet kissed down her jaw to her neck, he whispered huskily, “Don’t you think it’s time for a repeat performance?”

“Ali,” she whined as he nipped at a particularly sensitive spot on her neck. Her hand continued to stroke his member as he began undoing the laces to her dress. The white fabric and lace was slowly peeled back from her skin as he moaned.

“You are perfect. So very perfect, blossom,” he whispered as she pulled at his breeches with her free hand. He felt her shiver as the wedding dress finally fell to the floor. She stood before him in nothing but her undergarments.

“You know I’m not,” Elyssa objected as she tugged at his pants again, slowly working them down his legs.

“You are to me,” Alistair reaffirmed as he pulled back, gently guiding her to the bed. “You know I will always believe that.”

Wordlessly, Alistair plopped onto his large ornate bed. He watched with anticipation as she stood between his legs. He resisted the urge to throw her onto the bed and make passionate love to her. Oh Maker, how he wanted to, but this would be their first time together as husband and wife. Every time with Elyssa was special and he did not want her to think this was any different. “Lyssa.”

She smiled almost shyly at him as he leaned over, reaching for his breeches. The view of her cleavage did nothing to calm his excitement. He knew she did it on purpose, but he wanted her to know how much being wed to her meant to him. He wiggled the rest of the way out of his pants and smalls, kicing them out of the way as she stood back up. His hand on hers stopped her, guiding her to straddle him instead.

She obliged his silent request as he held her by her hips. “No words I could utter could do justice to my feelings for you. I want you to know that I have never imagined being with anyone until you.”

Elyssa bowed her head. “I never thought I could really marry someone for love until you. I thought maybe I would marry and then learn to love him but this? What my parents had? I thought it was all but impossible yet here I am with you.”

Alistair grinned as he kissed her. “Maybe fairytales do come true?”

“As long as the girl still gets to carry a sword,” she teased as she moved against him.

“Maker’s breath, my sword is yours anytime, my lady,” he groaned out as she rubbed her core against his still erect member.

She giggled. “You really just said that didn’t you?”

“Afraid so my lady,” he replied as he undid her bra. “I also did that.”

He let the article of clothing fall to the floor as he cupped both of her breasts, teasing them both equally. Elyssa let out a moan of pleasure as he moved to kiss the newly exposed flesh. Licking and sucking his way to one nipple and then the other. He felt her instinctively buck against him. The friction her actions made only added to his arousal overall.

He dropped a hand to her smalls and murmured against her skin, “These really must come off. I can’t carry out my royal duties of ruining you with them on.”

“I’ve been ruined by you for some time now, Alistair,” she quipped pulling his head from her breast by a tug of his hair.

He looked up at her with a mix of desire and adoration. “Then I must continue the tradition we have established. We had talked about making some of our own didn’t we?”

“Yes,” she admitted as he tugged at her smalls, awkwardly seeing to their removal as she continued to straddle him. “But I don’t think the people in general need to know of this one in particular.”

“I think they already do, blossom,” he replied mischievously. “We are not exactly quiet.”

She ran her hands across his chest, grinning at both the sound he made and the memory of their previous times together. Elyssa rocked against his arousal. “I suppose reminding them that we are happy together--married or no--is worth doing.”

“I could not agree more, blossom.” Alistair beamed as he once again cupped her breasts. “Just think, Lyssa. We will have the rest of our lives to be like this. Today and every day.”

His voice was filled with conviction; he firmly believed nothing would ever part them. Her heart urged her to believe him, but her head harbored a doubt. “I will always come back to you, Ali.”

Alistair nodded with a smile. “I know you will.”

He coaxed her to lift and then he guided her to sheath his throbbing member. He let out a guttural moan at the sensation she created as she leaned her forehead against his shoulder. He never tired of the feeling of having her be one with him nor the rightness of it. “Elyssa.” Her name escapes his lips as a reverent whisper.

She took his hands and interlaced their fingers, as she assured him, “I’m here, Ali.”

She rode him slowly at first, enjoying the intimacy of the moment. He gazed up at her with hazel eyes full of love, allowing her to determine how the night went. She loved him for his giving nature, his selflessness, his gentle honesty, his off-beat sense of humor, his humility and compassion. How could no one have recognized those qualities in him before? How could she have been the one to marry a man most woman only dreamed of? Maybe Leliana had been right when she said the Maker had brought them together for a reason…

“Lyssa…I need you,” he panted as his hands dropped to her hips again, squeezing her gently, urging her to move faster.

She leaned forward, nipping at his bottom lip. “Tell me _how_ you need me.”

“Lys—Lyssa,” he pleaded as she snapped her hips against him, each time a little faster. “I always need…you. Maker, I will always need you.”

“Alistair.”

His mouth sought hers hungrily. He rolled them onto the bed, his weight pressing her against the mattress, her legs encircling his waist. She let out a low moan as his calloused fingers slid over the curve of her breast, caressing her in all the right ways. She writhed under him, wanting him to finish what she had started. Slowly his hand trailed down toward the heat between her legs. She trembled in anticipation as she whispered, “Maker, please.”

With her pinned beneath him, Alistair’s teeth nipped the skin at her shoulder. At the same time his fingers began rubbing circles around her clit as he moved in and out of her moist folds. A growl rumbled in his chest as she reached up with her fingers, tugging at his short hair. The sounds of pleasure emanating from her let him know she was nearing a peak. Elyssa arched against him as he encouraged, “I want to hear you, Lyssa.”

She mewed into his shoulder as he snapped his hips hard, the sound of flesh against flesh echoing with her muted scream. After her release, he rode the waves out with her, easing her down with gentle strokes and tender kisses. Gradually she relaxed against the mattress as Alistair kept himself propped up on his elbows above her.

“We’re not done, blossom,” he warned as he caressed her flushed cheeks, moving stray strands of brown hair from her face. “That wasn’t nearly loud enough.”

Elyssa looked up at him, biting her lip. She loved it went he was confident in the bedroom. He had been so shy and unsure in the beginning. But when Alistair found something he wanted, he studied everything about it and strove to excellent at it. Their love making was no exception and he had found all the right ways to please her, including some she was unaware of herself.

The King of Ferelden moved so quickly she had no chance to prepare. A wave of pleasure swept over her as he filled her in one expert stroke. “Ali,” she whined as she clutched his biceps, likely leaving scratch marks. With his hands gripping the sheets and her hair, she felt him withdraw only to slam into her again. Her whole being tingled with ecstasy as he repeated his actions, each time chanting her name in breathy tones.

Alistair set a bruising pace as her moans snapped the remaining self-control he had. They were properly wed now, living in the castle in Denerim. No one could argue the legality of their relationship or the properness of it. They weren’t out in the middle of nowhere huddled in a tent or a roadside inn. They were in their quarters, in their home, in their bed. He had been able to have what he had wanted all his life; it was right there in his hands, calling his name as he made love to her.

He continued to pump into her, driving all of his overwhelming emotions into each stroke. He felt himself on the edge as she gripped him with all of her strength, her body shaking beneath him. Taunt as a bow string, he knew she was near her end as well.

He lowered his mouth to her ear. “Don’t hold back, blossom. I want every last person in this castle to hear you.”

“Yes, Maker’s mercy. Yes,” was her response as she squeezed her eyes shut.

Alistair sheathed himself in her, buried to the hilt. He paused briefly to kiss her and then began moving again. Each stroke demanding. He could feel himself slipping over the edge, his own release demanding an answer. As if reading his own desires, Elyssa arched against him, digging her fingernails into his back and shoulders as she screamed his name. The word rung out in their chambers, surely echoing out into the rest of the royal wing.

He pumped into her a few more times and then joined her in a boneless mass upon the mattress. He lingered on top of her for several long moments, contented and sated as she slowly caught her breath. He slide off of her, pulling her against him as he laid on his side. He made a contented sigh as she played with his hair. “I love you.”

“I know. And I think the whole castle knows now if there were a doubt before,” she murmured back, smugness evident in her tone.

Alistair chuckled. “Maybe reminding them of how two people should love each other is something we should do more often. Let them gossip about two people in love instead of who they are having affairs with. It will be a shocking change of pace.”

“There _does_ need to be some changes,” she muttered against him as he pulled the covers over them.

“We will make it happen, Lyssa. I promise. Even if it takes years,” he replied kissing her the crown of her head. “We will keep Ferelden safe together.”

***

Alistair laid on his side with an arm draped lazily over Elyssa’s hip. He heard her slow, soft breaths as she rested with her back to his chest, her head pillowed on his other arm. They hadn’t moved much during the few hours since their last love making session. It felt almost as if it were new again. Not that being with Elyssa was ever boring but something about being married had shifted his view. They were a legitimate couple in the eyes of everyone now but that was not what had changed.

He had confessed in front of everyone, nobles, commoners, friends, rivals, the Maker that he loved the woman in his arms and would do everything to keep her safe and make sure she was loved. He had once been the unwanted child of a king taken in by a man out of obligation, duty not because he wanted to. Now he was king, something he had always been told he wouldn’t ever be. He had a wife, something the choices others had made for him had prevented before. Now things were different. Now he was different. Not because of the crown on his head or the royal blood that ran through his veins.

No. It was because of the belief Duncan had in him. The chance he had offered him when he conscripted him from the Templars.

It was because a woman who had lost everything had seen something in him he had never seen before. She had pushed him to believe what Duncan said of him, to believe he was more than what people said. To find his own path.

Rather ironically that path had led to the throne he had been denied his whole life. And a marriage to a noble woman who he had only thought to admire from afar. Life certainly had a way of surprising a person. He looked at the woman in his arms one more time before closing his eyes. He would wake up to her every morning for the rest of his life and that alone was worth all the trials he had ever been put through. Finding his own path was worth it as long it always led him back to Elyssa today and every day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title inspired by the song "Marry Me" by Train


	6. Live My Life Everyday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warden-Commander Elyssa Cousland-Theirin arrives at the Vigil's Keep to find the fortress attacked by darkspawn. Needing to recruit new wardens and prevent another attack, she comes face-to-face with a person from her past. But after all this time, is he friend or foe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***flashbacks in italics***

_“I would accompany you for the formal dedication, but I am already expected in Redcliffe, blossom,” Alistair apologized again._

_“It's alright. You can come by and give your formal blessing when the keep is up to my standards,” Elyssa said teasingly. He stood near her dresser in her rooms as she packed for the journey to Amaranthine. She would be gone for at least a month._

_“I will miss you, as always,” he admitted with puppy eyes. “But nothing says I can't take the long way to Redcliffe.”_

_“Alistair.” She glanced at him with a stern expression that melted into a smile. He would always try to keep her close but in the end he would perform his duty._

_“I know. I know,” the king mumbled as he waved his hands in defeat. “We've waited six months for the wardens to make it official and_ now _Eamon decides that he has news I must hear in person.”_

_Cousland closed her truck as she noted, “I’ve seen Teagan around court more.”_

_“Yes, and now I will see you less,” Alistair pouted as he come up behind her, pulling her to his chest._

_“We knew there would be times like this,” she reminded him not for the first time as she turned to face him. “I'm Warden-Commander and Queen in addition to being the_ Arlessa _of Amaranthine thanks to you.”_

_Alister cringed just a little. “I wanted to prove the wardens can handle having a presence in Ferelden again.”_

_She made a face as he leaned forward and kissed her neck. “And you are a very beautiful Arlessa.”_

_Alyssa huffed, draping her arms over his shoulders. “The wardens sent civilian help. Apparently to ensure we don’t get involved with politics.”_

_She couldn’t help the whine that escaped her, interrupting her train of thought. Alistair continued to leave a trail of wet kisses along her neck, jaw, cheek—anywhere he could as she tried to refocus her thoughts. “Yet the First Warden never leaves Weisshaupt or Hossberg…Rumor has it he has his eyes on the Anders’ throne.”_

_“And conveniently ignores the stay out of politics rules. Perfect, “Theirin murmured against her skin, his hot breath a stark contrast to the cool air of the room making her want more. She suspected that was his goal._

_“Perfect?” she echoed in confusion, her fingers feathering through his short hair._

_“I meant you, blossom,” Alistair clarified kissing her lips quickly before returning to his self-appointed task._

_“I'll be the good little Warden-Commander everyone expects,” she said continuing to enjoy his attention. Maker knew when she would get to experience again. “I'll listen to advice. I'll report into whomever. But I will not give the reins to another commander.”_

_“That's my Elyssa. All that determination and grit will you what you need. And I will miss that at court…” the king said with pride as he glanced up at her, his expression one of mischief. “Maybe we could switch?”_

_“No.”_

_“But—"_

_“No.”_

_“I love you,” he said as he conceded defeat, gently tugging her towards the bed._

_“I love you too,” Elyssa replied as she followed him, knowing exactly what he wanted. As they settled on the bed, she couldn’t help but add, “And the answer is still no.”_

******

Despite it all—the Blight, the civil war, Alistair’s unconditional love, her friends now scattered—nothing could have prepared her for what greeted her at Vigil's Keep. Attacked by darkspawn and the Orlesian wardens missing, presumed to have been taken through the tunnels below. Now Elyssa stood face to face with Nathaniel Howe, pure hatred in his gray eyes.

He'd come back to the keep to avenge his father and been greeted by a handful of Orlesian Grey Wardens. Something had changed his mind, instead only desiring to salvage a few family heirlooms. Captured by the Grey Wardens, he had been left alone during the attack. Apparently he had not gone down easily though. Whatever training he'd had in the Free Marches, it made him a formidable opponent.

“Well, doesn't the _Arlessa_ of Amaranthine have anything to say? Was Queen not good enough for you?”

Elyssa stood silently before him. Nathaniel had always been an articulate well-mannered man if reserved known for his quiet, jovial nature. He had always been proud of his heritage. She couldn't blame him. With the exception of his grandfather, Tarleton Howe, the family’s loyalty to Ferelden was second to none.

“We sent letters to the last known address for you. There was no reply.”

“You wanted me to reply to you? To the _murderer_ of my father?”

“Nate, that's not how—"

“ _Don’t_ ,” he seethed. “Don't use that name. You killed my father. The girl I knew never would have—"

“The boy I knew was always impulsive and headstrong but would listen.”

“You don't know me any longer.”

“The same could be said for you, Ser Howe,” Elyssa retorted, emphasizing his title and surname. Would he not listen to reason? “You have been gone a long time. People change or maybe they just finally reveal their true selves.”

“My father served the Hero of River Dane and fought against the Orlesians! Yet our family lost everything. I came here …I thought I was going to kill you. To lay a trap for you …” his grey eyes fell to the floor of the dungeon. His shoulders slumped; the Howe pride vanished. “But then I realized I just wanted to reclaim some of my family's things. It's all I have left.”

“Look, I know you're the hero,” the archer glanced back up, his composure back in place. Throwing his shoulders back, he still stood taller that she had in their younger days. Even slightly taller than Alistair. “You fought a war and you won, and to the victor go the spoils right? Whatever my father did however shouldn't harm my whole family. The Howes are pariahs now, those of us left. It's all thanks to you. And now you get to decide my fate. Ironic isn't it?”

Elyssa refused to take the bait. His remark and humorless chuckle meant to make her feel guilty. She didn’t need his help with that. Nate had always been good at reading people and learning how to push their buttons. Time away from Ferelden had not diminished that skill.

But he hadn't even acknowledged her parents’ deaths. Did that mean nothing to him? He had cut her off before she should tell him about the Delilah as well. Did he not want to know?

In the most collected voice she could muster she said, “ _My_ parents were murdered in their own home by a man they thought to be a friend. His forces laid siege to our home while we slept, killing dozens of innocents. He is responsible for the current state of your family. I am deeply sorry for your losses, more than you care to acknowledge. You and your siblings were considered family by the Couslands. We still want to …Delilah–“

“ _Enough!_ Your family was going to sell us out to the Orlesians!” Nathaniel seethed, stalking towards her as far as the cell bars would let him. “The whole war was horrible …my family is _gone_ ...You have your brother and a new husband. You have titles to spare. I can't even take anything from my home to remember my family.”

Elyssa motioned for the guard to summon the seneschal. She couldn’t blame him for what he was feeling or wanting to reclaim something of his family. It hadn’t been that long ago when she faced almost the exact situation. “Then I release you. Gather any family heirlooms you wish. No one will stop you. You have my word. You'll be escorted to Amaranthine. From there you are on your own since it is evident we can no longer be considered friends. I pray to the Maker you find the answers in the city you will not allow me to give you.”

Elyssa turned to leave not really expecting things more. Her childhood friendship with Nathaniel Howe was simply one more lose she would have to endure.

The soft even voice of Howe called to her. “What if I come back and try to kill you?”

“You are more intelligent than that, Nathaniel,” Elyssa threw over her shoulder. He just wanted the last word. “Never mind I am Queen and Warden-Commander and what the consequences of that would be. You are _not_ your father. You never were.”

She left the dungeon letting her words hang in the air. Her first 24 hours at the keep had been much too eventful for her taste. Now without the Orlesian wardens she had the added task of recruiting instead of simply settling in. Focusing on that, Elyssa could only hope Nathaniel came to realize the truth soon.

*******

“Wait,” the archer appeared out of nowhere. She shouldn’t have been surprised. Both he and Miriam had always been good at sneaking around. “I wanted to talk to you. You set me free. Just let me go. Despite what I said or what I might do. I want to know why.”

“I am not looking for a fight with you, Nathaniel,” Cousland said with a heavy sigh. The passed two days had not yielded the rests she had hoped. Besides the missing wardens, a new type of darkspawn had appeared. And nobles. The nobles wanted so much… “I already have plenty of those on my hands. What you do now is your own responsibility.”

“I see,” Nathaniel said slowly, his ever-observant eyes taking in everything about her. He had surprised them on their way back to the Keep from the city. Her and her two recruits: an apostate mage who liked flirting, joking and escaping and Ogrehn trying to escape familial responsibilities.

“Take me with you. Make me a Grey Warden,” the dark-haired warrior said when her silence lingered on. His expression was one of loss and uncertainty. “…I have nowhere to go. I fully expected to die in there. Maybe I even _wanted_ to. But you let me go. Make me a Grey Warden. Let me try. _Please_.”

“Are you trying to save your family name?” Something had happened to him in the passed two days. She knew he still had not seen Delilah but maybe something else? He wasn’t stupid and knew the truth about his father even if he wouldn’t openly admit it.

“I don't know,” he admitted with a shrug. “Maybe that's not even important now.”

She arched as eyebrow at him as he continued seeming to speak the words as they came to him. “Maybe it's more important that I do my part to face the darkspawn. Maybe that's what my father _should_ have done.”

“Becoming a Grey Warden is dangerous,” Elyssa warned with a stern gaze. He wouldn’t listen to her, not really. He would take the facts as he knew them and make a decision without consulting anyone else. Delilah would regain a brother but one that would have a shorter life. But he was alive…

“I understand. Most things worthwhile are dangerous one way or another,” he smirked at her, crossing his arms. She bit back a retort as he added in a softer tone, “Lady Cousland, I have to try. I have to do something.”

********

Elyssa had found a secluded balcony along the residential wing of the keep. No nobles. No recruits. No She vaguely remembered some of the layout from time spent there as a child. They had always played hide and seek all over the ancient fortress. Some places they were allowed, most they weren't. Miriam had always been the hardest to find. Nathaniel had once said his youngest sister hid so well in order to stay out of Rendon’s sight.

The Miriam at Vigil's Keep had always seemed like a different person than when she was at Castle Cousland. She was very different for that matter anytime she was out of Rendon’s sight. That applied to all four Howe children actually. Even Lady Eliane their mother was different. Elyssa didn't understand it even all these years later. Her own home life had been so much different.

Leaning against the stone railing she took in the view of the surrounding area. It was hard to believe that only two day prior, the 17th of Justinian, she had arrived in Amaranthine believing she was simply taking over the duties of Warden-Commander and Arlessa. It was nearly sunset, and Nathaniel had yet to wake from his Joining. He was alive and had survived but three hours later he still slept.

Now she had three warden recruits to lead instead of a full complement of Orlesian wardens. Privy to more secrets and knowledge than before she still felt woefully unprepared for the task ahead of her. It was fighting the Blight all over again. Her family had at least prepared her for battle and to a degree becoming Queen. Leading a secretive group of warriors with no safety net was completely different.

Woosley had asked her to look into clearing the Pilgrim’s Path for safe travel and trade while Varel had informed her of all the demands the local nobles were already making. Then there was the city of Amaranthine itself. A large part of the population had left because of the darkspawn. Now to make sure the port city survived, she had to find a way to encourage them to come back.

A cough and shuffle of feet caught her attention. She glanced back to see Nathaniel standing at the balcony door, hand to his head. He wanted her to know he was there; he had always been able to sneak up on people even before he went to the Marches to train. She arched an eyebrow waiting for him to say something.

He coughed again wearing a sheepish grin. “You warned me that the Joining could be dangerous …I feel worse than any hangover I have ever had.”

Cousland shrugged. “It's different for each person.”

She turned back to the view of the countryside, knowing full well the archer was intent on speaking with her about something. He had always been deliberate with his actions and words. The years surely had not changed that.

He came to stand by her, leaning forward with his forearms on the railing. “It is hard to believe you're Queen and married to the new King who was the stable boy at Redcliffe.”

All she did was nod. He paused, a small grin playing upon his lips. “Miriam used to get so excited to go to Redcliff just to see him. We used to tease her, and she would get so embarrassed. Of course, that meant she would go hide.”

“She was always good at hiding,” she agreed quietly knowing he still did not know the fate of his siblings. She wasn't sure if she should say anything or not. Delilah knew as much as she did, and Elyssa was sure the truth would be better coming from family rather than the woman who had killed his father.

She noted his attention focused on her as he added, “Thomas and Delilah always enjoyed going to Highever more …Of course father tried to convince us all that a union between Ferguson and Delilah or Thomas and yourself was in everyone's best interests …We all thought it would have been a little too odd as close as we were.”

Silence fell between them as they remembered some of the happier times of their childhood. Their past relationship as friends and family allies compelled her to say something about his siblings’ fate. At the same time, she did not know how and continued to think the truth of things should come from his sister. She knew she would have wanted to hear about Fergus or her parents for a family or at least a trusted friend. She wasn't even sure where she truly stood with Nathaniel. Nothing from her life from before the Blight remained the same…

“Elyssa, are you all right?” Howe's concern was palatable in his tone.

She squeezed this stone railing with a death grip. He had used her given name. His voice was like it used to be, no hint of malice. How could he go from wanting her dead to pleading to join the wardens to being concerned about her? Shaking her head _no_ , she replied, “You _need_ to go to Amaranthine.”

Nathaniel frowned as he fully turned to face her. “But I underwent the Joining. I am a warden now. Why would you send me away when your numbers are so few? Without sounding egotistical, I _am_ the best warrior here second only to you.”

Elyssa turned to him sharply. “This has nothing to do with the wardens and everything to do with family. _Your_ family.

“My family is gone –“

_“No_ , they aren't. Not all of them. _Please_ just go to the city in the morning. The truth will find you.”

“I don't understand,” Nathanial admitted with frustration. Gesturing toward her, he added, “My father, according to you and everyone else, was the one who destroyed my family. Yet you say the city holds the truth about them.”

“Did you even receive my letters or _read_ them?”

Howe looked away; his demeanor shifted slightly. “I did but I did not read them. I still possess them however.”

Elyssa let out a breath. She had detailed the fate of his siblings in those letters as well as a plea for his return. He didn't know that though. “I …I must meet with the city guard tomorrow. I would ask that you accompany me order to resolve this. You may have the whole day if you need to.”

She began walking away as he asked, “Elyssa, what do you mean – “

“Not all your family is gone, Nathaniel. You should go in the morning, so you don't have to go through what I did with Fergus. For almost a year I didn’t know whether he was alive or dead. Take care of those who still remain. The Maker has blessed you despite all the darkness. And I hope one day you will be able to forgive me.”

She knew he stood there watching her as she retreated down the hallway. All she could do was take things day by day. Maybe one day she could make peace with all that she had done in the past year and a half. Maybe it could start with the Howes. Maybe… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title inspired by the song "Everyday" by Bon Jovi


	7. All You Can Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alistair's first foray into court politics by himself while Elyssa tends to Grey Warden business in Amaranthine, becomes a challenge for his patience and spurs on his desire to stay true to the promises he has made. His wish to correct wrongs and the need to protect his wife even when he is not at her side, drives him to seek advice and alliances from surprising (or not-so surprising) sources.

“I am not fond of this anymore than you are, Your Highness,” Teagan Guerrin stated as he sat in Alistair’s study. The youngest Guerrin had returned with Alistair to Denerim after Eamon had formally announced Isolde’s pregnancy. He had also seen that Connor join the Ferelden Circle with promises of frequent visits.

The King arched eyebrow. “I assume you mean the _king_ part. The marriage bits I was very excited for.”

Teagan let out a sigh. “I suppose I should be grateful for the offer. After all my brother and Isolde are expecting again, and he _does_ need to focus more on home. What happened with Connor proves that much…I just wish Isolde had been more forthcoming. Her actions have put my family in a very precarious position.”

Alistair studied the man he regarded as an uncle. He knew Teagan had never wanted a title or to really venture back to Ferelden after spending so much of his life in the Free Marches. Eamon had finally agreed to retire as it were from public life for the time being, vetting his brother as a more trusting face for the public. He knew Elyssa had not done anything more after he had suggested Eamon’s respite from court life. Alistair had not, however, anticipated Eamon turning over his position to Teagan or their attempt to conceive another child.

“You know Denerim isn't all that bad…” Alistair noted as he leaned back in his own chair. He really did want Teagan to feel comfortable at court. Teagan at least had always shown Alistair kindness, never shying away from him during his turbulent childhood as others had. “Eamon can worry more about Redcliff’s day-to-day recovery while you traipse around looking for adventure _here_. Perhaps court business could even take you to the Marches now and again.”

Guerrin perked up a little. He mulled over Alistair’s words as if considering their implication. “Maybe …Perhaps some good could come of this.”

“You know not all nobles are gossiping, back-stabbing asses,” Theirin continued, trying to butter up his almost-uncle anyway he could. “Maybe you can find a nice Free Marcher who enjoys horses just as much as you.”

Teagan made a face, one that was not lost on Alistair. For all the times he appeared clueless to people in general, it was not the truth. Elyssa had caught onto that very quickly. “I, uh, that perhaps…will not be necessary ...There are lovely Fereldan women here in the capital.”

“Teagan?” Alistair said in a tone that let Guerrin know the King suspected something. Something that he had yet to reveal to anyone.

The noble averted his eyes, shifting uncomfortably in his padded chair. “There is a girl --a _woman_ from Redcliffe. She inherited her father's gift for steel. She has set up a shop here in both Redcliffe and Denerim--a foundry.”

“Wait! Are you speaking of the woman— _Kaitlyn_ \--we rescued during the undead attacks on the village?”

Guerrin nodded. “We have kept in touch. She asked if I would visit her shop the next time I traveled to Denerim. She splits her time between the capital and Redcliffe.”

“Have you?” Alistair asked knowing perfectly well he sounded far to eager for the details but being in on gossip material that did not revolve around him was too good to pass up. Besides he had never known Teagan to take an interest in a woman that he felt the need to hide.

“Not yet,” Teagan replied as he shook his head, motioning at the King. “I thought my business with you would be—"

“You should see her as soon as we are done here. Don't delay,” Alistair interjected with uncharacteristic seriousness. “If you feel anything for her, tell her. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. This world needs more of that. You never know how much time you have.”

Teagan regarded him thoughtfully with a smile. “I suppose you would know.”

Alistair beamed. “I'm good for some things you know. Just don't let it get around. I have an image to protect.”

*****

Alistair sat on the throne hearing the latest reports from various nobles and advisors. People droned on about the economy, the agricultural conditions throughout the country, recovery efforts from the Blight and the Civil War, and the improvement projects led by Anora and Fergus. Of course there were also the usual noble squabbles. Banns complaining about the amount of displaced people within their arlings or the lack of manpower. Others simply wanted to hear themselves talk as they reported unrealistic progress within their own lands. Alistair would read all the reports later, in peace, alone. He worked better that way, unless Lyssa was there…

The chair to his left was noticeably empty, however. Elyssa still remained in Amaranthine dealing with the newest darkspawn threat. The Orlesian Grey Wardens all but disappeared, her numbers low. If she were to face danger he wanted her to have the proper support. They arling was given to the Grey Wardens but it needed to be a partnership. These thoughts had set his mind about creating a plan of some sort while the nobles continued to vie for his non-existent attention.

The news of Eamon and Isolde’s newest edition, Teagan's infatuation with a Redcliffe woman, and his own new marriage signaled a change for him. Much had changed already but he knew more was on the horizon. Battles would no longer be fought openly with sword and shield. They would be fought in secret with words and underhanded deeds.

He had named Anora the Arlessa of Gwaren, given her ambassadorial powers, and gifted her Howe’s estate in Denerim. So far it had been a mutually beneficial alliance. She and Fergus had kept the nobles in check while he and Elyssa had been on their honeymoon. Fergus was of course a trusted ally as was Teagan, if somewhat reluctant. But friends and allies outside the nobility would be important too. Or so Elyssa had said repeatedly.

With that in mind, Alistair smiled. Thinking outside the royal box was something he was good at much to his advisers chagrin. Listening to the last report on the reclamation efforts of the blighted lands near the Kocari Wilds, Alistair had begun to formulate a multi-step plan. One he was sure the nobles, at least some of them, would not care for. That made the former templar grin all the more. Harassing the nobles without actually harassing them would be fun. Perhaps a walk in the market without guards to start things off ....

****

“You have got to be out of your mind sneaking in here like this!” The redheaded elf said as she stood in the middle of her living area. “Your guards will tear the alienage apart accusing us elves of kidnapping you.”

“Not if I'm quick enough and they find me at the Gnawed Noble first,” Alistair replied with a cheeky grin. He was clothed in a well-worn hooded cloak and commoner garb. It certainly wasn’t his first escape from the castle, and he would be damned if it would be his last, especially when he had plans he needed to see through _personally_ without any advising from nosey, know-it-all advisors.

Shianni shook her head. “Fine but you better promise to make sure your shems don't hurt my people. Your kind have done enough already.”

“I hope you are not lumping me and my wife into the same group as Howe and Loghain.” He feigned being hurt as he pointed at himself. He was well aware of what had happened to her people during the Civil War at Loghain’s hand. That was partly why he was in disguise to talk to the one person in the alienage he knew would listen to him but still keep her people’s interests front and foremost.

Shianni sighed as she threw up her hands. “I suppose not but still—"

“I've come here in person to try and repair some of that damage, Shianni,” he explained as he removed his hood. He needed her trust. “If you will allow me to, I thought an in-person conversation would make the offer more genuine.”

She considered his words with narrowed eyes. It was in her nature to be skeptical of things that sounded too good to be true. He couldn’t blame her caution after Loghain or at all for that matter. “You know they've made me a Hahren now. Do you know what that is?”

“It's something like an elder isn't it? You help guide your people and hold influence over important matters,” Alistair replied hoping he remembered correctly. Elyssa had suggested at least having a rudimentary knowledge of people he wanted to have alliances with. He prayed he had studied enough.

“Pretty good for a shemlen king,” the red head begrudgingly admitted as she crossed her arms.

Theirin gave her a lopsided grin. “That's perfect …if you would come to the castle tomorrow I have a proposal that I would like to discuss with you.”

“The _castle?_ They will just let an elf in?” Shianni exclaimed, looking at him as if he was a griffon.

He nodded as he assured her firmly, “They will be expecting you and if I must personally escort you in I will.”

Alistair watched as she narrowed her eyes once again. The look she gave him was unreadable. “You are a strange shem.”

“I'll take that as a compliment,” Alistair exclaimed with a grin as he moved to put his hood back on. “And I hope to see you tomorrow morning, Shianni.”

“Yes. Fine. I'll be there. Now go before you cause trouble,” she shooed him towards the door in an annoyed tone despite a grin that tugged at her lips.

“Awe, but no trouble is no fun.” Alistair pretended to pout as he took the hint.

“ _Out!”_

Alistair laughed as he was shoved out the door, it closing loudly behind him. One problem down and one more to go. Maybe Leliana could help with that one. She did know a thing or two about intrigue.

******

“So Elyssa’s little templar has decided to play the Grand Game,” Leliana purred as she walked with him through the rose garden he had started several months ago. She seemed all too pleased with the revelation.

Alistair made a face of disdain as he bit out, “Do you have to sound so _Orlesian_ when you do that? I need help and _you_ are the one I thought of.”

Leliana giggled as he turned red as the roses that surrounded them. “You are so awkwardly adorable. How can I not help you?”

“Maker’s breath,” the king muttered as he stopped to gaze at a red rose bush. _The_ red rose bush. The one specifically for Elyssa. The one he had planted himself. The gardeners had attempted to help but he had insisted on doing it unaided. The remaining bushes of various colors he had allowed them to plant. But this one? This one was the one _he_ planted specifically for Elyssa so he could give her a rose from him any time he wanted. At least that was the hope. Eventually he hoped to be able to transplant some of it indoors when the weather would turn bad. He wanted his wife to always have a rose to remind her of their love.

Elyssa still carried the enchanted rose with her. The first one he had picked for her in Lothering. The one Wynne had cast a preservation spell on. She had told him she would never part with it and the mere thought of that promise brought a smile to his face. Both of their lives had been made grander by the presence of the other.

“You miss her, don’t you?” Leliana’s voice broke through his thoughts. He glanced over to see her wearing a knowing grin.

“Yes. Of course I do,” Alistair replied almost indignantly, crossing his arms defensively.

The bard tilted her head as his gaze fell upon the rose bush once again. “She will always come back to you. But you already know this. The both of you give me hope that this world is not full of darkness and the light will always find a way to shine through.”

“Thank you…I think,” the King replied as he turned back to his friend. They had come a long way since the days of him questioning her sanity. Now he knew her faith and belief was genuine as was her friendship to both him and Elyssa. “I just wish there was _more_ I could do for her. She must bear the mantle of Commander alone now. I cannot be at her side like before…But I cannot do _nothing_ …”

The red head nodded her head, her expression turning thoughtful. “I understand. I have been called on by the Divine to enter her service as her Left Hand…I must leave Denerim soon…We both have our duties now, but we will not forget the friendship we have forged.”

“You’re _leaving_? But Elyssa is not here to say goodbye,” Alistair protested drawing the stares of some of the gardening staff. He had little care that he caught their attention but the fact Leliana would be leaving Denerim—no, Ferelden hit him hard. It would be one less person at court he could trust…

Leliana smiled as she placed a hand lightly on his arm. “I will depart via Amaranthine then. Until my departure, I will help school you in the Grand Game. You are a new king, raised a commoner. Some in Orlais and even Ferelden will see this as a weakness, but you will learn to use it as a strength and keep Ferelden strong.”

“You and Elyssa make that sound so simple,” he grumbled kicking the ground. It was true but it was also true the he was a quick learner when properly motivated. If it helped keep his love safe, then he was most definitely properly motivated.

“Alistair, when you have the correct people in place, the correct allies, the appropriate network of contacts, it can be,” the bard explained as she took his arm and urged them to continue walking. “You must simply begin to put your pieces in place. Your work with Anora and your offer to Shianni is a good start.”

“I suppose I should take that as a compliment?”

“Yes. Now about this honor guard you want to hand pick and their true purpose?” the archer continued as they moved further into the sprawling rose garden. “I will give you advice, but I request permission to compose ballads about you and Elyssa. They will be most flattering I promise. Oh! And I would like to leave some suggestions for Elyssa’s wardrobe for court and _shoes_! We mustn’t forget the shoes!”

Alistair found himself smiling despite the preposterous nature of it all. He was going to receive advice on the Grand Game in exchange for permission to compose ballads about his love life and fashion advice for his wife. He nodded his agreement as Leliana went on about colors that suited Elyssa the best. The things he did for his wife.

******

“For the final items, I have two points,” Alistair said as the end of the meeting with his court the following morning. He had let the nobles bicker and talk themselves blue without letting on that he had business of his own to present. He had addressed several concerns about a labor force, suggesting that the Banns work on attracting the needed skilled labors back to their lands with incentives. As for the overtaxing of resources in certain areas of the nation, he suggested working together to reroute trade while addressing the needs of the displaced populations. Surely attending to the needs of their people would be the foremost thought on their leaders’ minds. It hadn’t been for some until Alistair had hinted at possible relaxed taxes on certain things for an undetermined amount of time. He kept a mental checklist of which nobles had to be basically bribed to care for their people. He would make sure life became harder for them later.

“First, I would like to address the injustice done to the Denerim alienage elves,” he explained as he eyes the crowd below. He was well aware that the former Teyrn still had supporters amongst the court. “While Loghain held power, he allowed _Tevinter slavers_ to kidnap many elven people under the guise of an outbreak of illness. It was only after the Hero of Ferelden investigated rumors that this betrayal of trust and inhumane acts were discovered. It is well known that slavery of any form is illegal in Ferelden, yet he allowed it to happen.”

“During the Battle of Denerim, many city elves came to the aid of their city and helped to beat back the onslaught of the darkspawn horde. They did this even though humans allowed their people to be taken. While we have stopped this slave trade and punished those responsible, the injustice still stands and trust between elf and human strained further. I propose to take steps to mend this. I know it will take time, but this should not be ignored.”

He paused, waiting for some fool noble to question him before he even stated his command. None did surprisingly. Maybe there was some decency amongst them after all.

“In that light, I propose that the Denerim alienage be elevated in status to have a Bann. With that, I have granted Hahren Shianni the position of Bann of the Denerim alienage with all the rights, duties, and privileges thereof,” Alistair declared as he surveyed the crowd again while Shianni stood defiantly below the raised area the throne sat upon. “I will not allow any one to make light of this appointment. We must _all_ work together if Ferelden is to remain strong. We are _all_ Ferelden.”

Murmurs came from the crowd, but no one outright defied his declaration except a small number of Banns near the back of the hall. Their laughter echoed throughout the room. Alistair arched an eyebrow. And there went the hope of decency. “I am known to have a sense of humor much to the disappointment of many. Please tell the rest of us what you find so amusing so that we can all share the laughter.”

“You can’t really believe that she is equal to us?”

“She’s a knife-ear!”

“This is one of your jokes. It must be! Maric would never have—”

“I am _not_ Maric, _nor_ Cailan, _nor_ Calenhad. I share their blood but the similarities end there!” Alistair boomed as he stood up. The crowd fell silent at his rare display of anger. He would do things _his_ way and they would understand that. Elyssa and Leliana had both been adamant that he stand up for his way of ruling early on if he were to be taken seriously. People would always challenge him, but they had to understand that he was not a push over. “You _will_ accept this decree, or I will allow your fellow Bann to deal with you. The former Arl of Denerim allowed atrocities to her people that I will not tolerate. Think long and hard before you test me.”

“You can’t—”

“Bann Shianni,” Alistair said simply gesturing toward the proud elven woman.

The red head moved forward a half step. “My people have every right to the same life you have. If I am a lowly _knife-ear_ why are you so threatened? Or is it because my people stood up to the injustices done by Loghain and fought the darkspawn for your freedom while you cowered in your fancy homes too scared to battle for the nation you claim fidelity to?”

No one uttered a word. Alistair grinned. “She is a very good shot with a bow as well. I know from first hand experience. She saved my life and the life of many soldiers during the battle. Maybe we should arrange a demonstration? I hear that some archers practice by shooting apples off of other people’s heads. What that work, Shianni?”

“They are too cowardly to accept,” Shianni said smugly.

“I suppose,” Alistair replied feigning disappointment. “Anymore objections or _juvenile comments_ as my wife would say?”

The crowd remained quiet. The king nodded to the elf even knowing there would be some political backlash to her appointment he had not considered yet. In that moment though, he did not care. “Thank you, Hahren Shianni. I hope this will begin a mutually beneficial relationship between us.”

Shianni simply nodded as she continued to smirk at the Banns from earlier. Having her at court going forward would make things much more interesting.

Alistair returned his attention to business. “Now that we all understand _that_ , my second point of business was to address the concerns that I enjoy ditching my personal guard. I will not deny this. I do. They have no sense of humor nor sense of personal space. I propose to hand select my own guard with the understanding these are people I must be able to trust implicitly. I will do the same for Queen Elyssa.”

Teagan asked, “For clarification, Your Majesty. Do you think that is necessary? The Queen is Warden-Commander after all.”

“She is still Queen, regardless of her accomplishments as the Hero of Ferelden,” Alistair explained trying to remember all the plausible reasons Leliana had given him to use. “She is also by default the Arlessa of Amaranthine. We are giving the Wardens the opportunity to prove that they can work _with_ us. The arling needs to have a Ferelden presence. I am hoping that a small contingent of guards loyal to Ferelden and responsible for the Queen’s safety will help keep things in balance. I do not wish the Wardens to be banished from our nation again.”

“Is this honor guard to be great in number?” Guerrin asked knowing that some would question the exact nature of their duties.

Ditching his personal guards had already become something of a game for Alistair. The guards that had been selected for him had been Eamon’s doing, one final attempt from the Arl to have influence over Alistair and Elyssa. They had become especially good at interrupting intimate moments outside of the bedroom. Alistair even suspected they had orders to report back to Eamon. Whether it was him simply being paranoid or just annoyed that Eamon tried to retain some sort of control, Alistair had gone out of his way to evade them on multiple occasions, usually with Elyssa scolding him as she laughed. His proposal gave him a plausible reason to get rid of those guards and find ones he could trust. Hopefully they would have a sense of humor.

“Only what is required,” Alistair said honestly. “They will be loyal to Ferelden and the crown, but I will select them as I believe had been tradition previously. I hope that this will satisfy the need to know my every movement.”

“So we shall _not_ find you in the Gnawed Noble Tavern again, Your Highness?” Teagan asked with a smirk as a wave of laughter sounded in the hall.

Alistair made a face. “You really make being king no fun.”

“Such is the responsibilities of being king,” Teagan replied grimly.

Alistair huffed dejectedly as the court goers began talking amongst themselves. Deciding to turn the tables on his sort-of-uncle, he lowered his voice to ask, “So, how is Kaitlyn?”

“ _Really_ , Alistair?” Guerrin hissed drawing Shianni’s attention.

“You _did_ go and visit her at the foundry, didn’t you?”

Teagan exhaled sharply, eyes darting around searching for anyone that may have overhead them. “ _Yes._ But now is not the time—”

“A shemlen woman? Kaitlyn. She runs the foundry in the marketplace. Opened just a few months ago?” Shianni asked, her curiosity peaked.

Alistair nodded with a goofy grin. “She’s from Redcliff. Apparently Teagan has taken a liking to her.”

While Teagan fumed, Shianni noted matter-of-factly, “She employs several of my people. She pays well and said their skill was better than some of the shemlen that claimed to know the forge. She is a good one.”

Alistair shot Teagan a shit-eating grin. “I believe your lady friend just received a compliment.”

“Yes, well. Thank you on her behalf. I will pass it along tonight— _later_. I mean later.” Guerrin turned a shade of red that nearly matched Shianni’s hair.

“ _Tonight_? Are you having dinner with her?”

“Maker’s breath, Alistair. Is my private life not private?”

“Mine certainly isn’t. Why should yours be?” the King commented with a shrug, enjoying embarrassing the other man. He had always been so much more fun than Eamon.

Teagan grumbled as Shianni watched them in amusement. “Shemlen courting rituals are so strange. Having a Hahren to make a pairing is so much more simplistic.”

Alistair turned to her with an arched eyebrow. “And _you_ are bonded?”

“Well, no—but…” Shianni stammered as her cheeks became flush.

“Love is complicated. I know I waited a long time for Elyssa, and I think that’s why I appreciate her so much. To me love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own,” Alistair replied as he remembered all the trials he had gone through with Elyssa and those that were yet to come.

His desire to protect her even if he were not there directly guided his choice to establish an honor guard on his own terms. He had future plans for that guard, but he would start small as Leliana had suggested. He would keep his promise to his wife and to Ferelden. He could do both at the same time and still be the King he wanted to be. He would continue to discover who he truly was on his own terms, and he would never regret the choices he had made that brought him to his present life. He would do his best as Elyssa believed he could, and he would live _his_ way. It was all he could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title inspired by the song "Be Yourself" by Audioslave


	8. You Can Always Be Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elyssa chooses a Warden-Constable as she is recalled to Denerim. The consequences of the Battle of Amaranthine hang over her as she returns to Alistair after a two month absence. Leliana's parting gifts help to ease her mind.

“It seems the King believes you need protecting,” Nathaniel Howe noted as the honor guard walked through the gates to Vigil’s Keep. His amusement was written all over his chiseled features.

Alistair had written to her briefly about his plan and had sent his chosen soldiers to escort her back to Denerim for court business. She knew he had future plans for these honor guards, but the specifics would have to wait until she returned to the capital.

“You find this amusing, Howe?” she snapped back. During their time solving the mystery of the Mother and the Architect, the two had come to an understanding, slowly falling back into the friendship of their teenage years.

“Of course not, Your Highness,” Nathaniel denied with a grin. “The Hero of Ferelden, the Warden-Commander of Ferelden, the Warrior Queen of Ferelden most certainly needs an escort. There is no way that she can protect herself. None at all.”

Elyssa glared at him. His cheeky nature was most definitely intact. “Whatever, Nathaniel. I’m leaving you in charge of our merry band of Wardens. You should have no problems with them.”

Howe glanced at her skeptically. “Are we talking about the same Wardens?”

Cousland laughed. She full well knew his opinion of the group she had collected. None of them fit his expectations of a functioning army unit or a functional anything. “You’ll have to get used to it if you are going to be Ferelden’s Constable of the Grey.”

“Constable of the Grey?”

“That’s the formal title. Most just say Warden-Constable,” she explained as they walked the battlements. “It’s my second-in-command.”

Nathaniel halted in his tracks. “ _Me?_ I came here to kill you and now you want me to be your second?”

“You have the most combat experience aside from Sigrun, but more importantly…You have the head for it. You know how the military works, but you also know how people work,” she explained with conviction. “You said you wanted to try, that you wanted to do something. _This_ is it.”

He took a breath, considering her words. Narrowing his eyes, he gestured between them. “You glossed over my original intentions for coming here.”

Elyssa chuckled much to his confusion. After everything she had been through, she had become used to people wanting her dead. Whether it was appropriate to laugh at such things as Queen, she didn’t care. Anymore she took it to mean she was doing the right thing. “Nathaniel, some of my best friends have tried to kill me. Why should you be any different?”

“Maker’s balls! You actually mean that!”

She nodded. “Yes.”

He shook his head, throwing his hands up in the air. “Fine. In that case I’ll accept. But you owe me an explanation for that.”

“Agreed,” she said as they resumed walking. In a lower tone she added suddenly serious, “I would ask that you keep an eye on Anders. Wynne said he has a history of escaping. Something tells me he doesn’t truly want to remain with the Wardens despite the protection it affords him.”

Nathaniel nodded. “Kristoff—Justice—whatever—is questionable too in my mind. He— _It_ means well but something—”

“I see your point. Just don’t be too overt about it,” Elyssa said as they watched the other train in the yard below. “As for Sigrun, Oghren, and Velanna…just keep them from killing each other. Any would-be recruits will take the Joining upon my return. Just have them do drills and help with repairs to the Keep...And if it won’t cause trouble, perhaps with the cities defenses.”

“I think we can manage. Garevel will handle matters for the arling while you are away?”

“Yes…Amaranthine needs to know we still stand with her.”

“We did all we could, Elyssa.” Nathaniel placed a hand lightly on her shoulder, assuring her the best he could. He felt just as she did.

Cousland nodded as she sighed. “I know that. It just doesn’t fell like it was though.”

“We—I know but sometimes…” he trailed. He knew she thought the same. They had come so far but still had a long way to go.

“Sometimes our best still isn’t good enough. _I know_.”

*****

The journey back to Denerim was uneventful compared to the last two months at Vigil’s Keep. With both the city of Amaranthine and the Keep recovering from the darkspawn attack, Elyssa felt more certain than ever there would be no way to keep her duties as Warden-Commander and Queen separate. When she was next ts court she planned to petition the as the Arlessa of Amaranthine for help—whatever could be given. Even nearly 8 months after the end of the Blight and the Civil War, people were still struggling with recovery.

People across Ferelden had suffered in differing ways, but they helped their fellow countrymen as they could. It would be a slow process but Fereldens were a proud, independent people and would persevere as they always had. Anora, Fergus, Teagan, and Leonas Bryland were all leaders in that area, encouraging unity. Several other nobles had followed suit--even those that had supported Loghain or Howe were eager to move forward. Of course, Elyssa recognized that the united front would not last forever, especially as some people slipped back into old habits and became more interested in their own interests.

She would use the unity presented to aid her and Alistair for as long as she could. She had a feeling Alistair had already begun planning something the moment she had read his letter about a hand-picked honor guard. And then Leliana had arrived a couple of weeks later on her way to answer the Divine’s call in Val Royeaux. The bard had promised to keep in touch and to aid them if the need ever arose again.

They had reminisced and laughed. Walked the halls of the Keep and shopped in the city. Leliana had pointed out clothes and bedroom attire as well as hinting at a surprise at home. Once everything was said and done, the Warrior Queen and new Left Hand of the Divine parted ways promising to always remember their friendship.

Now Elyssa stood in her suite in the Denerim castle staring at the dress, one of many, that Leliana had hand picked for her. She smiled and made a mental note to thank her for the selection as well as the other clothes tucked away in a box on her bed. Those were for later. At the moment, she needed to prepare for her first appearance at court in two months.

*****

“You were remarkably well behaved tonight. What did you do?” Elyssa noted with a hint of mischief as they entered their private chambers. After hours of entertaining the court, answering questions about the state of the Wardens, asking for aid for Amaranthine, enduring accusing stares of nobles who thought she should have handled the darkspawn situation differently, and others clamoring for favors, Alistair had finally dismissed them all. Using the excuse that she’d had a long day traveling and then returning to court, they had finally been able to be alone. Of course, she suspected the King had other reasons for wanting to be away from court.

“Me? Misbehave? Whatever gave you the idea?” he asked innocently as she walked towards her suite of rooms on the right side of the common area.

He followed, obviously intent on watching her change out of the burgundy red velvet dress Leliana had picked for her. The modestly revealing neckline and sleeves were trimmed in a gold lace material. The front was complimented by an almost quilt work pattern of floral designs alternating between shades of gold, red, and purples. The Queen had to hand it to her bard friend; she had impeccable fashion sense.

“Yes, you,” she said with a grin. “You know I know you did something. Why else would you not crack one joke the whole afternoon _and_ evening?”

“What if I simply wanted to avoid the ire of the nobles so that I might retire with my wife who I have not seen in two month as soon as possible?”

“Ah, yes. That must be it. You are tired just as I am,” she threw over her shoulder as she moved towards her changing screen. “You did say I was tired from all the traveling and court activities after all. I suppose I should go to sleep as soon as my head hits my pillow.”

“Oh, no. I don’t think that will do at all,” Alistair protested as he stood near the edge of the screen. “I should think I need to inspect you for injuries…Yes that’s it. Injuries that you did not report while you were fighting a talking brood mother and an intelligent darkspawn…Maker! The trouble you still get into!”

“It’s not like I went there looking for them,” she protested as she undressed. “I did manage to recruit 6 new Wardens…Of course the Orlesian Wardens couldn’t be saved.”

She knew she sounded melancholy but truthfully why wouldn’t she. Once again, the Orlesians had been kept from aiding Ferelden, this time establishing a Warden presence. She knew more would be sent but along with that a letter from the First Warden had already been sent. Her presence was required at Weisshaupt sooner than she had thought. With only seven active Wardens in Ferelden instead of 20 like the Orlesian Warden-Commander had intended, she would have to explain the blunder her first command had become.

“Blossom, it was not you fault. You did the best you could…Perhaps this way, the First Warden will see how the Wardens should be run…You know since we Fereldens do things so differently than most of Thedas.”

She let out a half-laugh. “I suppose…I did manage to find a few volunteers or conscripts within a few days. Then there’s Oghren…”

Cousland laid the dress over the screen as she glanced at her bed. The box from earlier still there. Did she feel like using the other gift Leliana had left?

“Yes. I read you letter about that,” Alistair said as he tip-toed to glance over the screen. “He ran off to join the Wardens to avoid familial responsibilities…He has a child, yes? Someone actually willingly reproduced with him? That is almost more surprising than a talking darkspawn.”  
  


“ _Almost_ ,” Elyssa agreed as she began removing her smalls and then stopped, noticing hazel eyes peering over the screen at her. “ _ALISTAIR_!”

He jumped back with a bark of laughter as a pair of panties was flung in his general direction. “Lyssa, I’ve seen it all before. Many times in fact. Why so shy now?”

“Andraste’s flaming sword, Ali! Maybe I wanted to surprise you with something,” she muttered from behind the screen. “You’ve been waiting here for over two months…It’s the longest we’ve been apart since we met…”

“Blossom,” he replied his tone soft. “You don’t have to do anything for me except always come back.”

Of course, he would say that. He always said that, but she still wanted to do something. “I know but…Would you hand me the box on the bed please?”

“Yes, but why—”

“Surprise,” was her only answer.

Alistair wasn’t normally a patient man, but he had learned to be for her. Dutifully handing her the box, he waited near the side of the bed away from the screen. As she changed into the selection Leliana had hand picked, she listened to her husband chatter on suddenly sounding very nervous.

“I thought that we might…That is since we spent more time in my chambers we’d sleep there tonight. Because there is no way I am sleeping alone again. Having the King and Queen sleep in separate chambers is a completely idiotic idea anyway. I know you think that but why do it? If they expect children, you have to literally be in the same room. It just doesn’t work any other way. I don’t think it does. Maybe Wynne knows something she didn’t tell me about…She did tell me to write if I had questions. Do you think I should—”

His words ceased as he saw her slowly round the edge of the screen nearest the bed. Hazel eyes wide and mouth open in surprise; he obviously had not expected her outfit. It was a black negligée coupled with black panties. The bust was made of lace with the straps and neckline dipping generously enough to reveal her cleavage. The rest of the slip was made of a sheer fabric leaving nothing to the imagination. Her stomach, hips, and panties all in full view for the man in front of her through the material. She paused as she watched his eyes drink in the sight before him. She had never thought of herself as sexy before until she realized how Alistair looked at her. She was more than a warrior, a noble, a Warden, a Queen to him. She was his wife, his love, his everything. That alone made her feel beautiful.

“Is this alright?” Elyssa asked finally as she slowly approached him.

Alistair only nodded as she stood before him, her hands resting on his chest. She smiled. “Don’t you think you are over dressed, my husband?”

He blinked, opening and closing his mouth several times before he replied. “I—Yes, but I thought we would retreat to my room…”

“What if I cannot wait for my husband to show me how much he missed me?” she purred as she kissed his jaw. His beard had grown out to be fuller. It was neatly trimmed, and she found she liked it. Nuzzling her cheek against it, she said, “Please, Ali. _Here_ is fine.”

“Who am I to argue with the Queen?” he murmured as he leaned down to kiss her, his hands resting on her hips.

“No one. Just the King,” she teased as he tightened his grip on her.

“Right now I am not the King. I am your husband and I missed you terribly, Blossom,” Alistair replied honestly as he pulled her to the bed with him. “But you came back just like you promised.”

“I’ll always come home to you, Ali,” she promised as she kissed him.

Alistair grinned at her as he pressed her to the mattress. Stroking her hair, he said, “I know that this will be difficult…That there will always be something trying to compete for your attention whether it be duty, darkspawn, nobles, Wardens, or Maker knows what…Just know that if you ever get lost in all that, you can still be found. I will always find you and bring you home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title inspired by the song "Home" by Phillip Phillips


End file.
